Breathing Room

I spent the majority of this weekend wearing various colors of a paint can, while I took on the challenge of converting our basement to my office.

There is something so unbelievably rewarding about the labor of love (as I sit here scraping the paint from under my nails between sentences).  It's been years since I painted and as soon as I wore the first splash, I felt like I was in a war to create this space to be my own.

If I'm honest, I would say that this last six months I've been holding my breath.

(Okay, maybe 9 months by now.... )  

This really isn't the way any of us living here drew this up.

All of us unemployed and co-existing in the same walls all day long.

Mattingly is supposed to be gone somewhere playing baseball.    Mal is supposed to be at the park 24 hours a day.  And I am supposed to be the only person in the office that we 'thought would be fun if we both had our desks in the same room.'

I never thought we would be actually in it at the same time.

Every day.

Two feet apart.

I can hear Mattingly's phone buzzing above me and Mal's typing sounds like a herd of elephants are being attacked in between frequent calls for technical assistance.

Unlike him, I require complete and utter solitude to work.

I kept thinking that "this too shall pass", "nothing is permanent" and all those other niceties I would tell someone else who was in my shoes, and I woke up every day believing that at some point, something magical would change.

I would get a job.

They would get jobs.

PLEASE, someone get a job.

(Please note that Mattingly now has one.)

I wasn't writing.

I didn't have any space that was quiet long enough for me to get in a zone to write.

I thought about going to Starbucks or to the library  - but those ideas weren't long term solutions.

Don't get me wrong.   I am truly grateful for the time we had together but I wanted everyone else to get their situations sorted out, so that once that happened, then I could find my own way.

***

I was walking along the beach, like I do many mornings, when I realized I needed to stop waiting for the situation to change and figure out how to adapt to it.

I needed to create my own breathing room, not wait for it to be given to me.

A personal sanctuary, my wellness cave, a place I can go and write, breath, think, read and be where I can't be distracted by anyone else.

My very own breathing room.

***

Here it is.

My very first post from my new space.

Let me take a deep breath and look around.

The wall color I picked is called Silver Linings.

(I actually call it Meditation Blue.)  

It is calming and zen-like down here and the sun is coming in from the east.

(I'm just kidding.   I don't even know where East is.)  

See??   I'm giddy being down here.

Maybe there isn't enough oxygen supply?

But it is sunny.

All my books are beside me.

My vision board is ahead of me.

Right dead center on the board is a sticky note.

It says "An hour a day.   One room at a time".

It's a reminder of the progress we can make by just committing one hour a day to absolutely anything.

This is my happy place.

Sometimes we wait for things to happen, or get frustrated because the plan isn't unfolding like our intention - without understanding that this itself, is a lesson in flexibility.

"In our lives, change is unavoidable.   Loss is unavoidable.  It's the adaptability and ease by which we adjust and experience change, that lies our true happiness and freedom."

A Matter of Perspective

I was recently asked if I was sure I was happy with my new career.   
When I said I didn't understand what that meant, I was asked "do you not think it's beneath you?"

Hmmm......

Beneath me?

Is anything really "beneath" any of us or is it all just the angle you view it from?

***

A few years ago, I was cleaning the office bathroom when a colleague told me there was "lower paying people" to do that and it was a waste of a high paid salary if I was scrubbing a toilet.

I explained that I would never ask anyone to do any job that I would not do myself.   

We were having a problem getting employees to clean the bathroom and I wanted to make sure that before I asked a Graphic Designer to put that on their To-Do list, that I had set the example first -  no one is exempt from looking after our work space and chipping in.

I will do the morning coffee run, empty the garbage, be the first to open the office or the last to leave and close it up and even fill the photocopy paper in the mail room when it's empty.  

There is absolutely no job function that is beneath me, and a majority of the time, if I need help, I usually receive it (hopefully) because of how I relate to others.

(I cannot fix the printer though.   I cannot get a scrunched up piece of paper out of a photocopier to save my soul).

***

Reflexology is an interesting twist in my career, without question.

I have been leading a team for as long as I can remember, and all of a sudden - no one is calling in sick, I have no budgets to complete, no schedules to create, no performance management issues to address, no cost efficiencies to find.

I have 60 minutes to make an impact with a client.

Professionally and clinically with the treatment, and emotionally with conversation, if that's where it leads, or to knock them out cold (which I'm also becoming quite proficient at).

In 60 minutes and 70 volunteer clients, I have coached smoking cessation, divorce counseling, career guidance, inspirational visions for workshops and leadership retreats, and convinced at least one person to try something they were afraid of.

Not bad for a girl giving foot rubs.

But I also met Matt.

Working with Matt is a blessing and the only appointment I currently take as a house call.

Matt is a perfect example of why I love this work.

***

Matt likes the Foo Fighters.

He has a vinyl album in a frame on his wall.

He likes great coffee and good scotch (Well, I think he once did) and I think he likes Star Wars.   

Maybe I made that up but I'm pretty sure he likes Star Wars.

He likes going to dances with his wife Carol and they go out to the Legion whenever there is a local event scheduled. 

(But you have to go upstairs, not downstairs where the 'old people' go.   Or was it the other way around?)

Sometimes my memory gets a little foggy because I'm trying to focus on what he's telling me and remember all the steps for my treatment to him at the same time.

But I know he hates country music. 

That much is very clear.

He definitely hates country music.

***

In 1992, Matt was 15 years old and training to be a camp counsellor at a Summer job.  

He tripped going into the lake, and in one split second, his entire world changed.  

He was left with a spinal cord injury and a broken neck.  (In medical terms, his C4-5 and 6.)

It is unfathomable to think that twelve years later, he faced a second tragedy, involving his parents in a horrible car accident.  

His Dad was driving, his Mom was in the passenger seat and he was in the back.  

The crash resulted in even further injuries to Matt.  

He acquired a brain injury, broke both hips and attained nerve damage severe enough to cause a tracheotomy, ileostomy and limited mobility in his left arm.  

His Mom didn't survive.

***

When I treat Matt, he has to be air lifted into his bed and then the height gets adjusted up and down by a remote control.

I listen intently when he speaks and I can hear the click of the air going into the tube every time he takes a breath to tell me a story.

I pause when his legs spasm and just place my hands gently on him until it stops.  Some days there seems to be much more than others.

***

He is funny and witty and has an absolutely brilliant zest to living life.   

They are always going somewhere.  

Music festivals, shows, markets - I am constantly quoting "Matt and Carol said we should go here..."

I joke around with him and tease him about not liking country music and just enjoy his company.

I secretly think that's why he likes my visits.

We just talk.

It is so easy to underestimate the incredible power of human connection and genuine conversation.

***

I try to imagine the grief Matt and his Father have to cope with.

I imagine the courage and bravery Matt has had to find to mentally and physically overcome two horrific accidents in his lifetime.

I think about the strength and patience Carol is equipped with to support her husband so beautifully.

***

Matt reminds me of how important gratitude is - for life, for breath and for love.

He reminds me not to take anything for granted because there are no guarantees on tomorrow.

These visits ground me and remind me we are more than the container we live in and that our attitude is truly everything.

***

When I reflect back to the question - do you not think this is beneath you? - I am left with the same thought every time.

It is a gift.

A gift to meet new, interesting and wonderful people.

A gift that enhanced my wellness knowledge and set in motion my quest to learn more about holistic leadership so I could teach it.

This is one peg on a Lite Brite box but it's too early for me to see the full picture. 

(if you are too young to know what lite brite is.... lucky for you, you can google it.)

I am humbled to serve, to learn and grow in a new environment where I am not the leader. 

I am grateful for a different lens to look through.

It's all just a matter of perspective.

Breaking the Mold

I was at a workshop last Summer and the opening ice breaker had us all answer the following question.

"If money was no object, and all people on this planet were paid the same for what they contributed to society, what would you choose to do as your career?"

We were all quiet for a minute.

"Photographer"
"Writer"
"Open a Bed and Breakfast"

Not one person said their current career.

Not one.

***

Have you ever stopped to think about just how crazy many of our lives have become?

We wake up and put on "work" clothes to go to jobs to make "money" - we pay for gas and cars and we put mileage on them to get there.   We take our pay cheques and use it for lunches to eat out and coffees in the morning and we strive for a higher and higher income bracket and pay more and more tax.  We spend less and less time with our families, more and more time on the road, aggravated in traffic, complaining often about needing a vacation or counting down the days to the weekend.

When we have finished paying the expenses of getting ourselves to and from work, what we are wearing to work and what we are eating while we are at work and the taxes for going to work, what do we have left?

The longer I have observed from the sidelines, the more I want to challenge the societal beliefs around jobs and work.

"It has to be hard"
"It is somewhere we go"
"We can't survive without one"
"How many more days until the weekend /vacation?"
"I need the benefits"
"We grow up, we go to school, we get a job, we have a family"
"Our quality of life is defined by what we do"
"Our quality of life is defined by how much revenue and education we have"
"The more money we make, the happier we are"
"The harder you work, the more money you make"
"My success is defined by a title I hold, designations I carry, level of education I have ...."

Says who?

Why are we, literally, surviving through each day?

What is wrong with us?

Do we believe our happiness is dictated by our perceived "success" or have we possibly become so focused on equality that our talents are hiding under our latest title?

It appears that somewhere along the way we became so focused on "getting a job to pay the bills" or "breaking glass ceilings instead of glass slippers", that it is possible our health and happiness have been sacrificed and our gifts have not been used to their fullest potential or become dormant.

***

I had a life changing moment a few months ago that has left me with a permanent imprint and a desire to completely gut and reshape my beliefs about money and work.

I applied for (what I believed) to be a long shot job.   Big kahuna money, fancy title and publicly traded company.   Mal would never have to work another day (which I can assure you he was a big fan of) and I would get a driver to take me to work and pick up my soy latte en route.

(Just kidding.   I don't drink soy lattes - this was for only for the effect of the whole driver service scenario.  I am certain every person with a personal driver gets a soy latte en route.)

(No whip.   No foam).

I got called for it.

I had a phone interview and didn't think for a second I would hear back.

I heard back.

I was called to go for a half day interview with their Department Management team.

There was this screaming voice inside my head saying this wasn't the right fit and nothing would be worth this much money but I went ahead with the interview anyways.

I got up at 5am for a 9:30am interview.

I drove and hour and a half to get there.

I sat for two hours reviewing my notes and prepping and met with the whole team.

At one point during the meeting, the person I would report to said (and I quote) - "I even moved xxx's office next to mine because I don't want to have to walk across the building - if I have a question, I want to open the door and have him available at my disposal."

My entire drive home all I could think of was that there was no chance I could do this job.

You could not pay me enough anymore to literally become a slave to my success.

***

There were two reasons this was such a game changer for me.

One, (if I'm honest), it stroked my ego to know I was "good enough" to make it to the top 3 candidates for a job that was a power - "seat at the table" - public company - >10,000  employees - biiiiiig job.

The second, and far more important reason, was that, for the first time in my career, I had no interest in the money or the title.  I realized I was shifting and more interested in truly living my life to the fullest than running myself into the ground.

I decided to redesign what a 'job' looked like to me and try to figure out how to use my skills and interests to make a lifestyle I wouldn't want to retire from.

***

I don't believe our traditional operating model serves us anymore.

I don't believe life is meant to be "survived" and jobs are meant to be "hard".

I believe people should use their gifts and talents towards the rest of humanity and love their work - and in return - trust that they will be rewarded for it.

I also don't believe we need half the finances or materialism we claim we do.

(Except a Mini.   I still really want that car.  Metallic grey.   Soft top convertible.   I can see it now.... I am Charlize Theron zipping into a teeny, weeny parking space, rapidly changing gears.   Sorry.  I know, I know.   I must focus.)

Focus.

In business, we sit in boardrooms and write on white boards, brainstorming "new verticals" that can "fit" and "draw in additional revenue".   We work endlessly to ensure the future security of the company, the employees and the shareholders and safeguard against an economic hit.

Who says it is wrong to follow that same logic personally?

Do we safe guard against job loss, business closure or lay offs?

Do we sit down as a family at home and talk about our income streams or where we could potentially increase our household revenue?

Are there different sources to receive abundance in life in ways most of us don't think of because we are still following the model of operating that might not necessarily be as "safe" in 2018 as it was in 1975?

Think for a second about how the traditional model served the thousands of employees who worked for Sears.  That safe job that they worked at for 30 years really didn't turn out so well when they were left without work or pensions.

Many of us have been taught to "save for a rainy day" or to stockpile for retirement - but why should we be miserable for years and only enjoy life at the end?

What if we don't make it to retirement?

What if you have an emergency fund of 3 months put away and you are without work for a year?

I'm not saying everyone should up and leave their full time job.

I'm saying it is worth rethinking if we are only staying in a job we aren't happy in  "for the money" or "for the stability" and if it wastes the opportunity to use hidden talent.

***

I want to break the mold.

I want to reinvent the definition of work.

I might want to work 4 hours a day for the next 7 days straight.

I might chew up an entire Saturday and work 15 hours straight on a great post because I'm so consumed I've lost track of time.

I just want to trust that if I follow my heart and allow my path to unfold by doing what I love and inspiring others along the way - that my success will come in the form of pure contentment and that I will always have enough resources and finances for what I need in life.

It's a ballsy move and I might fall flat on my face.  

I might get a "real" job again in another six months and take back every comment I've made right now.

Or I might speak at a school on a Monday, do 3 Reflexology treatments on a Tuesday, write a post or part of a book on a Wednesday and consult for some amazing companies on Thursday and Friday -educating employees on how to stay healthy, happy and motivated or helping business owners find efficiencies in their operation.

Who says that I have to have one job, one career and one pay check?

I'm taking a gamble that maybe I don't.

***

If you were asked that same question - 

"If money was no object and all people on this planet were paid the same for what they contributed to society, what would you choose to do as your career?"

Would you choose what you are doing today?

Maybe you would.

Maybe you wouldn't.

All I'm saying here is that maybe, just maybe, there is a different way to live.

"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth" - JFK

Human Maintenance 2.0

My first job was at McDonald's.

I started the second I was old enough to work and began in the kitchen, wanting to learn every single possible aspect of the store including summer and midnight maintenance.   I wanted to be a Trainer, a Manager and in a perfect world - I wanted to be a Corporate Trainer for Head Office.

I loved McDonald's and my social media network today contains many of the people I first worked with back in those days.  I made life long friends and learned core competencies of management I have used in every part of my career since.

Back then I wasn't so concerned about "leading a healthy lifestyle" or coaching people on shifts to make in their life to feel "whole".

I had started smoking to fit in, drank a pot of coffee before noon and had no qualm whatsoever about having an Egg McMuffin combo for breakfast, a Quarter Pounder with Cheese combo for lunch (with no pickles - hated pickles) and a Hot Fudge Sundae on any part of an average shift.  (with extra fudge in the middle and on the bottom)

(I just made a lot of people very angry with that last paragraph.  I didn't know any better back then, okay?  Don't judge.)

McDonald's does many things very well - their training is superb, their standards are insanely consistent and they have a "PM Schedule" for EVERYTHING.

And that's what I want to talk about.

PM.

Planned Maintenance.

We had a daily schedule, a weekly schedule, a monthly schedule, a quarterly schedule and an annual schedule.

Every piece of machinery and equipment had a phone number attached to it, a serial number and a sheet laminated, that laid out the exact plan to prevent it from breaking down.

And I'm telling you - the most successful restaurants follow and perform that PM by the book.

***

I wonder how many of us treat ourselves and our employees with the same approach?

Let's call it Human Maintenance.

How are we continually maintaining our bodies and our brains to be more efficient, productive and successful?

Over and over again, I hear the same scenarios repeated.

Scenario 1
Employee makes big salary.   Employee "can't leave" job because they are tied to the money, sole breadwinner, have a mortgage, etc.   Employee complains they are exhausted and tired and overworked and is always counting down to their next vacation.   Employee dreads every Monday morning.  Employee has zero energy.  Employee is generally stressed and miserable.  Employee does not have 5 minutes to themselves.

Scenario 2
Employee loves what they do and is driven to continually move up the food chain.   Employee grinds long hours.   Employee outworks everyone else at the company to be the best.   Employee oozes the company brand and promotes workplace to everyone they know.   Employee burns out by their overcommitments.   Employee health deteriorates.   Employee goes on a) vacation to recharge or b) sick leave.  Employee recovers and repeats cycle again.

Scenario 3
Employee lives beyond their means - either through no fault of their own or over spending.   Employee needs to work multiple jobs in order to make ends meet.   Employee sacrifices any time for self care because all free time is consumed working at part time and full time jobs.

Scenario 4
Employee works a "normal" full time 40 hour per week job.   Employee has spouse and children.   Children activities have become the dictator of all free time.   Employee has no time for self care because they are the taxi service, sports manager, coach, spectator, cheerleader... the list goes on.

You get the idea.

We are no different than the McDonald's grill that will eventually stop functioning optimally if we don't stop and maintain the machine.

***

I have a little confession to make.

When I signed up for my Reflexology training, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

I had had a Reflexology session once, years ago, and I knew the very basic premise that there were points on the foot that was "supposed to" correspond to parts of the body.

(So they say- insert eye roll here).

What I have always believed, though, is the theory that if more money is allotted to paramedical services as preventative maintenance on a Group Benefit plan, it is highly probable that there is less spent on the disability and drug lines.

So I pretty much made a revenue-based hunch, without any real understanding of Reflexology, that I thought this was a vertical that could take off - supported by a wellness trend of increasing the paramedical lines and a heightened awareness and push for self care.

What I've observed and learned in the past 6 weeks is unbelievable and has completely changed my belief system on what I thought it was all about.  I'm not only drinking the kool-aid, I'm pouring it out of a 4L box.

I have seen blood pressure drop from 150-160/80 to a normal range of 120/80 with only 4 four weeks of treatments, I have seen a smoker start coughing prophetically when I apply pressure to the lung reflex, I have seen a young woman feel tenderness on all her reproductive reflexes that had multiple children at a very young age, and I have seen a client with crohn's and colitis react to pressure applied to the small intestine and colon reflexes.

I have received multiple texts or messages that state "I haven't felt this relaxed in months."   "I haven't slept that well in years" or "It is indisputable that there is a dramatic effect on the nervous system.  No other treatment has affected me in the same way.  This is completely different."

Technically, by the Ontario College rules, I can't tell you that any of this is specific to Reflexology, but man, would I love to do some experiments with clients over a period of time and test some of my theories out because it's awfully coincidental.

There is, without question, something about Reflexology that is very unique and has a fascinating impact at, what appears to be, a cellular level in the body - so this is totally my sales pitch to educate and encourage you to try it.

***

Our nervous system is a power house that runs most of the show to heal or manage any inflammation in the body, and it operates with two breakers.

The first is our "fight or flight" mode which is tripped and in use whenever there is a perceived threat of any form.   It could be stress, it could be diet, it could be alcohol or drugs, it could be an emergency situation or personal crisis.  This is where all of our reflexes are "on" alert.  

This works in conjunction with our parasympathetic nervous system which can be equalized to our "off" switch.  This is our relaxation response, our chill-out ability, our true zen.

These two systems need to dance perfectly in sync, operating as needed, to keep us mentally, physically and emotionally well.

It doesn't take much to trip the switch and live in "fight or flight" mode permanently.   There are a laundry list of health issues that can spin off from living this way, but what's important to note is that it's incredibly easy to for the circuit to malfunction and it's our responsibility to ourselves to stay in balance.

Many of us operate in warning stages.   Early signs of distress that we might be working too hard or our stress level is up just a wee bit higher than what is deemed a healthy range - and Reflexology is one option that can help bring the body back into balance.

Unfortunately, there are also many people with advanced stages of illness that require medication and treatments far beyond zone therapy.  I would love to have the opportunity, one day, to work with some of them  and experiment with the effects on different ailments from using this treatment as a complementary therapy.

The Ontario College of Reflexology has recently started publishing trials on clients with diabetes, anxiety, MS, arthritis and many others - and is working with the government to try and get the profession regulated.

Reflexology isn't medicine.

Reflexologists aren't doctors and don't diagnose or write prescriptions.

Reflexology isn't a foot rub and it isn't a massage.... and no, it does not come with happy endings.

So...... what exactly is it?

***

"Reflexology is a focused pressure technique directed at the feet or hands.  It is based on the premise that there are zones and reflexes on different parts of the body which correspond to and are relative to all parts, glands and organs of the entire body." 1

"Manipulating specific reflexes removes stress and activates the parasympathetic response allowing for a physiological change in the body.   With the stress removed and circulation enhanced, the body is assisted to return to a state of homeostatis (normal)." 1

"Reflexology claims 4 main benefits - relaxation, enhanced circulation, assistance to the body to normalize metabolism and a complement to all other healing modalities".  1

"Reflexology dates back to the late 14th century, where a form of reflexology called "Zone Therapy" was introduced in Europe.   Dr. William Fitzgerald found that when he applied pressure to specific points or areas of the body, an anesthetic effect could be induced.   Not only could pain be relieved, but also the conditions producing the pain." 1,2

These theories were further advanced and began to spread across the US.

Eunice Ingham (1979-1974) was instrumental in the evolution of modern foot reflexology and wrote and published numerous books in the 1930's including "Stories the Feet Can Tell" that are still used by Reflexologists today. 2

My Reflexology instructor just received her first prescription for Reflexology two weeks ago and recently announced that it was becoming an addition to the nursing curriculum.

This is no fluffy, foot massage - and the evolution is happening fast.

***

Imagine that all I'm saying is true ... imagine for just one moment that our bodies were created with such intelligence that our hands and feet are actual reflections or mirrors of our entire body - a perfect picture of a mini me that could be used as an opportunity to heal and align our nervous system into optimal performance.

What if we apply the same theory of preventative maintenance to ourselves as we do to the machines in our homes and workplaces -  will our immune system be stronger, our energy replenished,  our body detoxed and is it possible for our mental function to improve?

I'm hoping then that the question starts to shift from why would you try Reflexology - to why wouldn't you?

(Yes, I'm touching your feet.   Psychologically you need to get over that part.)

***

By the end of May, I hope to have my certification finalized.

This involves passing a 3 hour anatomy exam and completing 70 hours of practical experience on volunteer clients.

A pass is 80%.

(I guess you can't only know half the body parts and their functions to be overly effective.  Probably wise.)

Maybe then, I will partner with one or two people to be able to practice in different cities.
Maybe I will start approaching companies for an employee Wellness Day where I could be onsite - offer a Lunch N Learn seminar on Reflexology and it's benefits and offer mini sessions through out the day to demonstrate what it's all about.
Maybe I could be part of an annual Strategy meeting or Sales meeting as an educational component on the importance of self-care.
Maybe I incorporate personal coaching as an additional vertical.

I don't really know how it's all going to unfold at the moment and I'm okay with that.

What I do know is I am absolutely floored at what I've learned and seen so far and I want to use Reflexology as a gateway to help others --- and if just one person comes to see me after reading this post to try it out - and leaves, feeling remotely better than they arrived - then I consider the time spent writing and educating a win.

1 - Ontario College of Reflexology - N101 Text
2 - The Reflexology Healing Handbook - Denise Whichello Brown

What's For Dinner?

"Take a deep breath in.... and let it out.

Take another deep breath in..... and let it out.   

There is nothing else to do here, no more work to be done, nowhere to go.   

Take in all the benefits from the efforts of your practice today and practice the art of being completely still." 

It is the end of my yoga class and I have to use, literally, all my energy to suppress a giggle. 

Practicing the art of being still, having nowhere to go and no work to be done is the core of my current existence.   

In fact, let me give you a snapshot -

Wake up (somewhere between 7:00 and 8:30am)

Make Bulletproof Coffee (yes, it's a fad I have not given up) 

(ok, big lie.   Many days it's even brought to me and I am still in bed at 8am).

Read "Journey of the Heart" daily meditation.

Finish coffee. 

And then the conservation goes like this...

Me: "What should we do for dinner today?"

Mal: "It isn't even breakfast Sarah.   All you ever think about is your next meal."

He is not wrong.

That is my first most difficult decision I face daily.

What's for dinner?

The second most difficult decision I face is what time should I go to yoga - 5:30 or 7:00pm- because it all depends on what we are having for dinner.  

(Hence the obvious importance of this question.)

That's all I got.

Coffee.   

What's for dinner?   

Yoga.

Occasionally, this is blended in with bouts of severe panic about my mortgage payment, tears that I cannot possibly believe I'm still unemployed or a complete rant that I don't want to just "get a job to get a job", that I want THE job and I would rather be unemployed than work in an environment where I sell my soul to the devil.

But most of the time, it's coffee, dinner and yoga.

***

Yesterday, I saw this post on Facebook.

"Destroy the idea that you have to be constantly working or grinding in order to be successful.  Embrace the concept that rest, recovery and reflection are essential parts of the progress towards a successful life".

I smiled and clicked "like" on the picture but I thought about it all day.

I never took a vacation.   

I might have "on paper" been given two, three or four weeks vacation a year.   

I never took it.   

I was too "dedicated", "committed" or "busy" to take my vacation.   

Oh wait - no, about once a year I might take a vacation and go to an all inclusive in the South.   The entire vacation I was on my email, making sure "things were okay" and I was "caught up for when I got back".  

Perhaps this is some sort of joke that I've now been given all my vacation time to take, from every job I've had since I was 15, all in one long isolated period of time.

That is the funny thing about unemployment.  You get an awful lot of time to think about how you got here and a lot of space to create a vision of what you want your life to look like.

***

About twenty years ago, I got a book for Christmas called "The Healthy Type A".

What a comedy show that I considered this a compliment at the time, not realizing what a message it was.

In the first chapter, there was a cartoon that said "Gone for lunch.  Back in 3 minutes."

I thought it was hilarious.   

3 minutes.

I wonder how many times I picked up the phone in my career and said "I just need about 30 seconds to inhale my lunch and I will be right there."

Complete lunatic.

Two speeds.  

150 and zero.

150 is not a sustainable plan and zero is an inevitable finish.

I've finally realized how much more effective I am with balance in my life and that "so busy" doesn't win any prizes.

***

So, let's be clear.

I'm rested, I'm rejuvenated, I've reflected on every error and every success I've had in all 43 years of my life.  I'm very familiar with where I took a wrong turn and my internal compass is humming along quite nicely - so I'm all caught up in the reflection department.  

In fact, I've learned so much I might as well just be reincarnated and start over at this point.  

Hear me?

I GOT IT.

I'm so relaxed that sometimes it takes me 3 or 4 days to respond to a text message and if I have 3 of them, I just might not reply at all.   

There's no rush.   

There's always tomorrow.

I owe at least 5 or 6 people replies at this very moment, but that's ok. 

It's not you.   

It's me.   

I will reply at some point.

I promise.

***

There is another thing I was reminded of recently and that is the concept of "impermanence".

As I spoke to a lovely friend of mine last week, she reminded me of the most important statement.

"Nothing in life is permanent."

Absolutely nothing.

It is so easy to lose sight of such a simple concept.

I'm not remotely concerned about whether or not I'm going to work again.  Of course I will - technically I am working right now.  Doing what I love to do best.   Writing and telling a story that hopefully inspires just one person in the world - to see something differently or smile at my stories.   I'm just missing that small "someone is paying me" part but I am certain I will see another pay cheque.  

The only delay is that I really want to find the right fit and I know it's out there.

Unemployment isn't permanent.

My current situation isn't permanent.

Neither are we, for that matter, and sometimes we are painfully reminded of that.

The point is - everyday isn't going to be coffee, what's for dinner and yoga and I will work again.

Until then, I will continue to embrace this fabulous concept that rest, recovery and reflection are all necessary components of leading a happy life.

***

I think the universe got a little confused at my request when I "wanted more time with Mal" (wasn't envisioning us both unemployed at the same time) or "desperately needed a vacation" (didn't mean permanently), so I want to leave you with this letter I wrote (below) to hopefully get this straightened out.

Dear Universe, 

Apparently I wasn't so clear in my previous requests so let me revisit this so we can tweak our current arrangement.

Big fan of the time off.   

It's been a blast but my brain would like to once again contribute to society and my bank account is going to unfriend me.

If you could please bring me abundance through a wonderful new job, that makes the best use of my gifts, skills and talents, in a fabulous company where I enjoy all the people in it and look forward to going to work everyday - oh, and ensure that I stay happy and balanced in all aspects of my life - that would be terrific.  

(This MUST exist)

...And the only use of the phrase "What's for dinner" will be the text I send Mal at 3 in the afternoon and not the first sentence I speak every morning daily.

If there is any more confusion, we should have a talk.  Please call me to discuss further.

Many thanks and love to all the other people on this happy planet,

Sarah Lee

The Corner Piece

I break open the box and start to sift through all the pieces looking for the corner ones.

The corner piece is the one that starts to build the foundation, the outside edges, the outline of the puzzle.  

I mean, you would never try and do a puzzle from the inside out, would you? 

(Well, I suppose you could - but it would be much more difficult.)

You look at the picture on the box, and then one by one, begin to piece together the frame and then  fill it in.

***

It's been 33 days.

33 days.

It's actually hard to believe that it's been over a month, but it's true.

33 days.

Weekdays.   

Weekends.   

Every single day for 33 days.

***

It depends how you are connected to me as to what you've seen.

Maybe you instagram-know-me and have seen 2 posts a day since November 22nd.  Not too much emotion there but a carefully calculated set of posts designed to give an overview of competencies, work ethic and genuine interest in Cancun.  

Maybe you LinkedIN-know-me and have just seen a glimpse that I'm on a campaign for a brand experience position in the South.   Maybe you have worked with me in the past and have clicked the button once or twice to help me out.

Or maybe you follow me on Facebook and have seen my die hard commitment to this daily since the video first went live.

For 33 days, I've been building the foundation.

I've been working on that corner piece.   

The frame.   

Have I built a strong enough foundation that they will want to see more?

***

You see one picture posted.

I see hours every day obsessing over the 'picture on the outside of the box'.

What do I want to show?

What do I want to hold back?

How many photos should reflect work ethic and character?

How many pictures should show interest in the areas they are targeting?

Should I be using knowledge or research on the lesser known areas of Cancun?

What is the perfect blend of what to divulge and what to post that creates separation from what the other candidates are doing?

What am I missing?

What, most importantly, reflects me?

***

And just like that, it's over.

I woke up this morning and realized that this is going to be my last post for this campaign.

I've watched all their social media accounts.   

I've responded to their questions, tuned in to their live broadcasts, complimented them where I felt they had done well.

I have absolutely no regrets on how I've handled this past month and this all comes down to Cancun.com and what fits for them.

***

This is not a 6 month vacation in Mexico to me.   

This is an opportunity to shift into brand experience.   

This is an opportunity to use my gift of writing and telling stories and make it into a full time job.   

This is a gateway to a new career.

***

To every single person that has jumped on my campaign wagon since November - 

Thank you.

Thank you for caring so much about me, and how incredible this opportunity would be, that you would share my posts, solicit your friends to vote, and write such beautiful things on my timeline about why I would be a great fit for this job.

Thank you for making it a part of your routine every day to vote when you stand in line for your morning coffee or tea.

Thank you for thinking of me while you are shopping and standing in line waiting to pay.

Thank you for connecting to wifi wherever you can and keeping me in your thoughts.

Thank you for challenging me to continually raise the bar by sending little notes and suggestions of what I can do differently.

Just  - thank you.

***

So one last time this morning I ask you to click on the link below and vote for me to become the Cancun Experience Officer for Cancun.com.  

https://ceo.cancun.com/profile/sarah-lee

And one more time I say thank you.

***

Over 5,000 applicants get narrowed down to 100 in just a few days.

Then 100 becomes 50.

And from 50, there are 5 lucky candidates (or teams) that go for a week long interview in Cancun.

The first cut is the deepest.

Fingers crossed.

Toes crossed.

"May the odds be ever in your favor" - 

Effie Trinket

The Trump Card

You didn't think I meant "him", did you?

"Making Cancun Great Again"

That Trump?

No, NO - that isn't the Trump I'm referring to at all.

The title refers to the deck, not the Donald - although there is no question that, politically, I could cause an uproar if I finished my campaign off with Trump quotes.

***

Let's be clear that I'm not Donald Trump.

I don't have power, money or um - a JOB at the moment.

Zero.

None of the above.

I'm not even sure I have a suit in my closet anymore.

I'm definitely no Trump.

All Trump references in this post therefore do not refer to the Trump card in the sense that he "won" the election, but rather the Trump "card" of winning a Euchre game.

Are we clear?
Good.

Just making sure.

***

Wow, so this past few weeks been a ride, hasn't it?

I don't even know what to call this amazing following at the moment but it's absolutely brilliant.

Lady Gaga calls her fans her "Little Monsters" but somehow I can't see calling anyone I know my "Little Monsters".   Someone is bound to tell me I've lost my marbles if I tried that.

My little tarts?  
You know - like Sara Lee, the cake lady.

"How are you all, my little tarts?"

No, you don't like that?

(Even I am laughing out loud right now)

Okay, maybe a name is a little unnecessary.

Moving on.

***

I have a confession to make.

I had to sit in my time-out chair this afternoon.

I did.

I had to sit, with my phone in another room, completely in silence, "unplugged" for well over a couple of hours  - and just think about this campaign and what was nagging at me that I felt I needed to pause.

Everyone is voting.

Lots of people are voting.

I mean, how amazing is that???!

I'm incredibly fortunate to have support from so many avenues in my life.

Friends, family, teachers, colleagues, "friends and family" of friends that I haven't even met.

It is totally wild.

I have had Facebook messages, personal messages, texts, calls and emails - all with encouraging words or suggestions on upp'ing my game, ideas for videos, recommendations for My Story, adding things to You Tube - the list goes on and on and I'm grateful for every one of them. (So please don't stop!)

The campaign bus is jammed with supporters and rolling along quite nicely.

What I've stopped doing though, in the heat of this campaign, is listening to my own voice, guidance and intuition, of what step to take next.

Today I woke up feeling a little strained.  I felt like I was forcing what wasn't natural to me and as cliche as the word "authentic" is, I felt my "authenticity" starting to slip.  I was so overactive on Facebook, it felt exhausting and out of character, (even for me), and my last LinkedIN post was weak, at best.  I wanted to commit to my timeframe so I put out something that wasn't necessarily my most thought through.

I was feeling self-induced pressure to act instantly on every suggestion that's come my way and I was overwhelmed and losing my own creativity and genuine nature in the process.

So this afternoon I took a time-out.

I sat quietly and thought through all the feedback I've received over the past week.

I mentally thanked each person for caring enough to come forward and share their thoughts.

Then I wrote down every suggestion in a notebook that I keep by my desk - that I will to refer to, if and when I need it.

I have been going every day at this, more hours than you could imagine, and I just needed to check in and make sure I was on track.

Some ideas that have been sent to me might lead me to brainstorm a new course of action that without those particular recommendations, I never would've come up with on my own.  

Maybe I stash a card or two for later in the game, when I need to shift gears and change tactics, and the timing feels right.

Every idea is valued and I will tuck them away and act or use them when I'm ready.

***

What came to me today with staggering clarity is that I'm not "competing to win".

Yes, you heard me correctly.

This opportunity isn't about competing to me.

It's not about putting on my "do whatever it takes to win" attitude (although we all know I have that).

This isn't about "winning" a contest.

This is about "aligning" myself to my dream job - "where I will use my gifts and talents to the best of my ability and thoroughly enjoy going to work everyday" and that means operating in a way that feels true to me.

I think this attitude will help me if I'm fortunate enough to make it through.   This changes the outcome from being a cut-throat game of Survivor, outsmarting and outwitting the other contestants, to being compassionate and understanding that Cancun.com (and all candidates) are looking for the right combination to succeed.  

I'm not looking to "win".  
I feel I have a lot to offer and I'm hopeful I align.

I want to remain completely grounded that this may or may not happen.

I am just going to be completely myself and have no regrets on taking this chance or how I handle myself along the way.

***

There is a long way to go if I make it to the Top 100.

There is another video, another round of voting, a cut to the Top 50, more voting - and then the Lucky 5 go to Cancun for a week long interview event.  There is endurance to this election and I will adopt new strategies along the way and pull from some of the great ideas that I've received.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've chosen not to watch any of the other candidate videos.   I haven't looked at their social media profiles or "creeped" any of their activity to see what they are doing.  I want to focus all my energy positively on my own campaign and not risk copying how others are soliciting votes or presenting themselves.

At the end of the day, if this is a match and I'm selected, I won't have the influence of the other candidates in how I work daily, so I want this to be a fair representation of what I have to offer.  I have to trust that if what I'm posting and how I'm positioning my own efforts is what they are looking for, then Cancun.com will find me in the sea of applicants.

I would like to think that enough of my "voice" shows through my blog posts and social media, as is, that they can determine if they want to dig a little bit deeper in the next round.

***

Writing, photography and social media are important competencies to the foundation of this role.

Those are, in essence, the Queen, King and Ace in my hand.

But the Jack of Spades?

The Trump Card?

I once had someone I worked for tell me my Trump card was my personality.

My "real, in person" personality.

That, which shines brighter than the bits the peek through social media and my writing, coupled with my buzzing energy that unintentionally fills a room.

I'm going to hold onto the Jack of Spades for a little bit longer.

I'm hoping to play the Trump card when it counts.

Keep voting every day and if I'm real lucky, I'm hoping to play my hand in Cancun.

https://ceo.cancun.com/profile/sarah-lee