Live Well, Lead Well and Be Well

One of the hottest buzz words to be found in management and leadership right now is self-care.   It doesn’t matter if you read Forbes magazine, Men’s Health, LinkedIN, People or Time – someone is talking about the latest and greatest way to activate our relaxation response and de-stress.   From fancy float spas, yoga, healing salt caves and alternative medicine to finding a quiet sanctuary or adult coloring books and crayons, there is an answer for everyone. 

And you know what?   

We should be talking about it because the statistics are staggering.  

Antidepressant use has jumped 65% in the past 15 years and Canadians are sitting at #3 on the highest user chart at nearly 10% of our population.  The global revenue for antidepressants is expected to be 17 billion dollars in 2020.

There are 300 million people affected by depression worldwide and suicide is the 2^nd leading cause of death between the ages of 15-24.  

Nearly 20% of the entire US has been diagnosed with anxiety disorders and depression is officially the leading cause of all disability claims worldwide.    

We have a global epidemic with wellness on our hands and obesity isn’t far behind mental health.  Our grocery stores are lined with sugar filled items and we are living in a society where excess has become the norm.  Obesity has affected nearly 30% of our global population and shows no signs of slowing down.

The wellness industry is blowing up.  

What started with companies putting a treadmill in their office space for the staff as a wellness initiative is no longer sufficient.   A 5k run will not help the employee who is drowning in debt.   We need to expand our approach to wellness and recognize that there are many facets that affect our overall health – exercise is not the only answer to being well.   Occupational stress, financial stress, relational challenges all play into effect. 

So what exactly is Self-Care?

Self-care can be defined as the choice to assume responsibility for our health. 

The most important word in that sentence is choice– we make choices everyday that affect our health and impact us emotionally, physically and energetically.

***

In 2007, the choices I made led me to a very unhealthy time in my life.  I was operationally managing a company and completely out of balance.   I thought coffee and cigarettes were essential food groups and I was steadily dropping to a size zero.   I had nicknamed my weight loss as the divorce diet because I was in the process of a fairly messy split and heartbroken to be losing two stepchildren.  I used anxiety and mental illness as an excuse for my poor performance at work and I was lost under a haze of antidepressants.   I was barely surviving through the days and just when I thought things couldn’t get much worse, I was hit by two drag racers on the 407 on the way home from work.   

In the corner of my eye, I saw the glint of silver as the Jetta came firing up beside me and clipped the back left hand corner of my car just enough for me to lose control.   As the car started to spin, the other racer clipped the top right just enough for the car to spiral.   I did a 360 into the ditch and lay upside down in the car in shock.   On instinct, I climbed out the drivers side window and ran away from the car to check on the other driver.   I didn’t have a scratch on my body but it is without question that I gained a nice concussion from my merry-go-round finish into the ditch.

Looking back on that now, there was so many clear signs that I needed to stop and rewrite the script of how I wanted my life to look.   

If I could go back in time with what I know now, I would start by completely challenging my belief system.

As leaders, the first thing we need to recognize is that we have a choice on what we believe.

*** 

I want to share with you some of my old belief patterns.

You need to be the first in the office and the last out.

The harder you work, the more successful you will be.

You need to do the job before you get the name tag.

Leaders eat last, even if that means you skip lunch

I’m too busy to take a break.

Only the poor performers call in sick.

Leave your personal problems outside the front door

Multi tasking is essential to my success

Now what would happen if I threw away those beliefs and rewrote a new set?

I now believe multi tasking is the devil and that I can accomplish far more doing one thing at a time.

I believe creativity does not occur without the space to think – and that breaks and vacations are critical to our success.

What would happen if we put our own oxygen mask on first and fueled ourselves first? Would we be more effective to lead others?

I think we need to take a holistic approach to leadership and support wellness in its entirety - not just physically.

I've learned that no one is going to feel sorry for you if you’re sick – it is your responsibility  to be healthy to yourself and others.  If you are run into the ground and complaining you are ill, it is time to gain control.

Most importantly, I understand now that the harder you work, the less time you have for anything else in life.   The magic to seek is balance.

*** 

There is something else I used to believe.   I used to believe that my anxiety, OCD and perfectionism was a disorder I was unable to cure and that I required medication permanently.   I truly believed I was broken. 

Now I believe anxiety can be cured.  I realize I may not win a popularity contest with that statement and I'm not suggesting that medication doesn't serve a time and place in certain instances or that there aren't exceptions to every rule.   But I believe we are a society highly overprescribed and in my particular case, I was fortunate and found my way out.

My anxiety is generally caused when I am over stressed, when I've taken on too much, when I agree to something I didn’t want to agree to, when I make a poor choice and deep down, know better, when I allow fear to take  hold and a whole variety of other reasons. 

But I chose to challenge my belief on being broken and choose now to believe something different. 

What if we all have times in our lives where we go through periods of anxiety or periods of depression – I mean let’s look at my situation in 2007 for a moment.   

Who wouldn’t have anxiety and depression that was going through a divorce, heavily medicated, fueling on caffeine and nicotine and who totaled their car?   There was nothing broken with me – I didn’t have a mental illness – I made some really terrible choices and I was stuck trying to get out of it all and it was really hard. Sometimes the beauty of those times is only afterwards reflecting back – when the light starts to shine through again.  But I don't “have” anxiety or depression.  I just believe I went through a time that was very difficult - that’s all. 

*** 

Stress has a fascinating impact on the body and many of us operate a majority of our time in warning stages of inflammation.  

Our nervous system is always talking to us, flaring up trouble if we aren't in balance.  Think of inflammation as a gas burner with a pilot light.   It stays nice and low in the background unnoticed as long as we are looking after ourselves but as soon as stress becomes chronic and invades the body, the fire is in full rage.  Our body is in fight or flight mode and desperately trying to defend the war.

The one key way to mute the fire is to activate the relaxation response which cools the inflammation down and allows healing to take place.

It’s important as leaders to start to recognize these signs in ourselves and others and ensure we have proper self care strategies and downtime to activate our relaxation response and keep in balance.

***

The second choice we have is what fuel we give our body - and that comes in the form of food, exercise, sleep and water.  This area is very well documented and the most common referral when we are speaking to self-care - which is why I will spend the least amount of time on it today.

It is becoming more prevalent the effect sugar has on our overall health, the increase in chemicals and additives to our foods and the importance of moving our body and giving it rest.  

I try not to buy anything with more than 3 ingredients listed on the box or bottle and I avoid the aisles of a grocery store whenever possible.   All the whole foods are placed on the outside perimeter of the store and generally speaking, that's the best place to shop.  

I try to commit to an hour a day of movement and make time to rest and unplug.  The benefits are tremendous when our body is in balance.

 ***

The last choice I want to focus on today is the choice we have on how we spend each day – we each begin each day with a full barometer of energy.  

So, where do you spend it?

Do you start your day with social media and email?   It is said that the first 90 minutes of the day is the most productive time for our brains.   How much of that full barometer of your energy in those first 90 minutes is dedicated to information overload and energy drains?   

There is something we can do at the beginning of each day with that clean energy.

We can set intentions.   

What is one thing you would need to happen today for you to deem it successful?   

I have a list of monthly intentions and weekly intentions - and every morning I write daily intentions.   What is it that I want to accomplish today and how does that relate to my weekly and monthly vision?  Not a laundry list of things to do but one or two things that help me move forward towards my goals.

We can also say no.    We can choose to say no to any request for our time that does not meet those goals.  This is not the easiest task but successful individuals have definitely figured out the art of saying no.

If we aren't spending our days doing what we love, if we aren’t fueling our bodies with what it needs and if our belief system doesn't allow for the best possible picture of our life – then no wonder we are over-medicated, over-weight and under-fulfilled in our lives.

When we think of self-care, we generally attribute it to physical (and most recently mental) health.   What I wanted to instill today was the idea of expanding that realm to include a variety of others - how our attitude and belief plays into our own health, how our energy is involved.  As the wheel of wellness continues to evolve, I expect we will see training in finances, occupational relations, family and marriage wellness, our environments and even in our spiritual awareness.

*** 

This morning I woke up and drank my Bulletproof coffee, walked to the beach and spent 60 minutes in silence to prepare for this speech to you today.  I am not taking any medication, I am smoke free and I know when any strange feeling of anxiety washes over me, it’s a warning sign to listen closer.   Maybe I’m making the wrong decision or need to think something through a little more thoroughly.  Maybe I’m afraid and need to ask myself what it is that I’m so scared of.  But it is definitely a sign.

***

I have a vision board in my office that is covered in intentions, dreams, pictures and quotes.  In the bottom right hand corner, there is a picture of a hand with a spiral in the middle and it says “INSPIRED”. 

It is from a personal leadership workshop I attended a year ago and to begin the weekend, we each pulled a card and had to tell the group what it meant to us.  I said I wanted to inspire others.  I kept the card and put it on my bulletin board to remind me every day to stay focused on my dream.

In the top right hand corner there is a little hot pink sticky note.   

It says Live Well Lead Well and Be Well. 

It’s the mission I want to inspire. 

In a society that only operates on overdrive, I want to be the voice of reason that challenges our beliefs and reminds you that every day you have a choice.   

As our future leaders, you all have a choice.   

A choice on what you believe, a choice on how to fuel your body and a choice in how you spend your day.

I hope you make them wisely.

*** 

Thank you so much for allowing me to share these ideas with you.  

Thank you for listening and allowing me to do what I love more than anything else in the world – to stay on my path and inspire.

Breathing Room

I spent the majority of this weekend wearing various colors of a paint can, while I took on the challenge of converting our basement to my office.

There is something so unbelievably rewarding about the labor of love (as I sit here scraping the paint from under my nails between sentences).  It's been years since I painted and as soon as I wore the first splash, I felt like I was in a war to create this space to be my own.

If I'm honest, I would say that this last six months I've been holding my breath.

(Okay, maybe 9 months by now.... )  

This really isn't the way any of us living here drew this up.

All of us unemployed and co-existing in the same walls all day long.

Mattingly is supposed to be gone somewhere playing baseball.    Mal is supposed to be at the park 24 hours a day.  And I am supposed to be the only person in the office that we 'thought would be fun if we both had our desks in the same room.'

I never thought we would be actually in it at the same time.

Every day.

Two feet apart.

I can hear Mattingly's phone buzzing above me and Mal's typing sounds like a herd of elephants are being attacked in between frequent calls for technical assistance.

Unlike him, I require complete and utter solitude to work.

I kept thinking that "this too shall pass", "nothing is permanent" and all those other niceties I would tell someone else who was in my shoes, and I woke up every day believing that at some point, something magical would change.

I would get a job.

They would get jobs.

PLEASE, someone get a job.

(Please note that Mattingly now has one.)

I wasn't writing.

I didn't have any space that was quiet long enough for me to get in a zone to write.

I thought about going to Starbucks or to the library  - but those ideas weren't long term solutions.

Don't get me wrong.   I am truly grateful for the time we had together but I wanted everyone else to get their situations sorted out, so that once that happened, then I could find my own way.

***

I was walking along the beach, like I do many mornings, when I realized I needed to stop waiting for the situation to change and figure out how to adapt to it.

I needed to create my own breathing room, not wait for it to be given to me.

A personal sanctuary, my wellness cave, a place I can go and write, breath, think, read and be where I can't be distracted by anyone else.

My very own breathing room.

***

Here it is.

My very first post from my new space.

Let me take a deep breath and look around.

The wall color I picked is called Silver Linings.

(I actually call it Meditation Blue.)  

It is calming and zen-like down here and the sun is coming in from the east.

(I'm just kidding.   I don't even know where East is.)  

See??   I'm giddy being down here.

Maybe there isn't enough oxygen supply?

But it is sunny.

All my books are beside me.

My vision board is ahead of me.

Right dead center on the board is a sticky note.

It says "An hour a day.   One room at a time".

It's a reminder of the progress we can make by just committing one hour a day to absolutely anything.

This is my happy place.

Sometimes we wait for things to happen, or get frustrated because the plan isn't unfolding like our intention - without understanding that this itself, is a lesson in flexibility.

"In our lives, change is unavoidable.   Loss is unavoidable.  It's the adaptability and ease by which we adjust and experience change, that lies our true happiness and freedom."

A Matter of Perspective

I was recently asked if I was sure I was happy with my new career.   
When I said I didn't understand what that meant, I was asked "do you not think it's beneath you?"

Hmmm......

Beneath me?

Is anything really "beneath" any of us or is it all just the angle you view it from?

***

A few years ago, I was cleaning the office bathroom when a colleague told me there was "lower paying people" to do that and it was a waste of a high paid salary if I was scrubbing a toilet.

I explained that I would never ask anyone to do any job that I would not do myself.   

We were having a problem getting employees to clean the bathroom and I wanted to make sure that before I asked a Graphic Designer to put that on their To-Do list, that I had set the example first -  no one is exempt from looking after our work space and chipping in.

I will do the morning coffee run, empty the garbage, be the first to open the office or the last to leave and close it up and even fill the photocopy paper in the mail room when it's empty.  

There is absolutely no job function that is beneath me, and a majority of the time, if I need help, I usually receive it (hopefully) because of how I relate to others.

(I cannot fix the printer though.   I cannot get a scrunched up piece of paper out of a photocopier to save my soul).

***

Reflexology is an interesting twist in my career, without question.

I have been leading a team for as long as I can remember, and all of a sudden - no one is calling in sick, I have no budgets to complete, no schedules to create, no performance management issues to address, no cost efficiencies to find.

I have 60 minutes to make an impact with a client.

Professionally and clinically with the treatment, and emotionally with conversation, if that's where it leads, or to knock them out cold (which I'm also becoming quite proficient at).

In 60 minutes and 70 volunteer clients, I have coached smoking cessation, divorce counseling, career guidance, inspirational visions for workshops and leadership retreats, and convinced at least one person to try something they were afraid of.

Not bad for a girl giving foot rubs.

But I also met Matt.

Working with Matt is a blessing and the only appointment I currently take as a house call.

Matt is a perfect example of why I love this work.

***

Matt likes the Foo Fighters.

He has a vinyl album in a frame on his wall.

He likes great coffee and good scotch (Well, I think he once did) and I think he likes Star Wars.   

Maybe I made that up but I'm pretty sure he likes Star Wars.

He likes going to dances with his wife Carol and they go out to the Legion whenever there is a local event scheduled. 

(But you have to go upstairs, not downstairs where the 'old people' go.   Or was it the other way around?)

Sometimes my memory gets a little foggy because I'm trying to focus on what he's telling me and remember all the steps for my treatment to him at the same time.

But I know he hates country music. 

That much is very clear.

He definitely hates country music.

***

In 1992, Matt was 15 years old and training to be a camp counsellor at a Summer job.  

He tripped going into the lake, and in one split second, his entire world changed.  

He was left with a spinal cord injury and a broken neck.  (In medical terms, his C4-5 and 6.)

It is unfathomable to think that twelve years later, he faced a second tragedy, involving his parents in a horrible car accident.  

His Dad was driving, his Mom was in the passenger seat and he was in the back.  

The crash resulted in even further injuries to Matt.  

He acquired a brain injury, broke both hips and attained nerve damage severe enough to cause a tracheotomy, ileostomy and limited mobility in his left arm.  

His Mom didn't survive.

***

When I treat Matt, he has to be air lifted into his bed and then the height gets adjusted up and down by a remote control.

I listen intently when he speaks and I can hear the click of the air going into the tube every time he takes a breath to tell me a story.

I pause when his legs spasm and just place my hands gently on him until it stops.  Some days there seems to be much more than others.

***

He is funny and witty and has an absolutely brilliant zest to living life.   

They are always going somewhere.  

Music festivals, shows, markets - I am constantly quoting "Matt and Carol said we should go here..."

I joke around with him and tease him about not liking country music and just enjoy his company.

I secretly think that's why he likes my visits.

We just talk.

It is so easy to underestimate the incredible power of human connection and genuine conversation.

***

I try to imagine the grief Matt and his Father have to cope with.

I imagine the courage and bravery Matt has had to find to mentally and physically overcome two horrific accidents in his lifetime.

I think about the strength and patience Carol is equipped with to support her husband so beautifully.

***

Matt reminds me of how important gratitude is - for life, for breath and for love.

He reminds me not to take anything for granted because there are no guarantees on tomorrow.

These visits ground me and remind me we are more than the container we live in and that our attitude is truly everything.

***

When I reflect back to the question - do you not think this is beneath you? - I am left with the same thought every time.

It is a gift.

A gift to meet new, interesting and wonderful people.

A gift that enhanced my wellness knowledge and set in motion my quest to learn more about holistic leadership so I could teach it.

This is one peg on a Lite Brite box but it's too early for me to see the full picture. 

(if you are too young to know what lite brite is.... lucky for you, you can google it.)

I am humbled to serve, to learn and grow in a new environment where I am not the leader. 

I am grateful for a different lens to look through.

It's all just a matter of perspective.

Breaking the Mold

I was at a workshop last Summer and the opening ice breaker had us all answer the following question.

"If money was no object, and all people on this planet were paid the same for what they contributed to society, what would you choose to do as your career?"

We were all quiet for a minute.

"Photographer"
"Writer"
"Open a Bed and Breakfast"

Not one person said their current career.

Not one.

***

Have you ever stopped to think about just how crazy many of our lives have become?

We wake up and put on "work" clothes to go to jobs to make "money" - we pay for gas and cars and we put mileage on them to get there.   We take our pay cheques and use it for lunches to eat out and coffees in the morning and we strive for a higher and higher income bracket and pay more and more tax.  We spend less and less time with our families, more and more time on the road, aggravated in traffic, complaining often about needing a vacation or counting down the days to the weekend.

When we have finished paying the expenses of getting ourselves to and from work, what we are wearing to work and what we are eating while we are at work and the taxes for going to work, what do we have left?

The longer I have observed from the sidelines, the more I want to challenge the societal beliefs around jobs and work.

"It has to be hard"
"It is somewhere we go"
"We can't survive without one"
"How many more days until the weekend /vacation?"
"I need the benefits"
"We grow up, we go to school, we get a job, we have a family"
"Our quality of life is defined by what we do"
"Our quality of life is defined by how much revenue and education we have"
"The more money we make, the happier we are"
"The harder you work, the more money you make"
"My success is defined by a title I hold, designations I carry, level of education I have ...."

Says who?

Why are we, literally, surviving through each day?

What is wrong with us?

Do we believe our happiness is dictated by our perceived "success" or have we possibly become so focused on equality that our talents are hiding under our latest title?

It appears that somewhere along the way we became so focused on "getting a job to pay the bills" or "breaking glass ceilings instead of glass slippers", that it is possible our health and happiness have been sacrificed and our gifts have not been used to their fullest potential or become dormant.

***

I had a life changing moment a few months ago that has left me with a permanent imprint and a desire to completely gut and reshape my beliefs about money and work.

I applied for (what I believed) to be a long shot job.   Big kahuna money, fancy title and publicly traded company.   Mal would never have to work another day (which I can assure you he was a big fan of) and I would get a driver to take me to work and pick up my soy latte en route.

(Just kidding.   I don't drink soy lattes - this was for only for the effect of the whole driver service scenario.  I am certain every person with a personal driver gets a soy latte en route.)

(No whip.   No foam).

I got called for it.

I had a phone interview and didn't think for a second I would hear back.

I heard back.

I was called to go for a half day interview with their Department Management team.

There was this screaming voice inside my head saying this wasn't the right fit and nothing would be worth this much money but I went ahead with the interview anyways.

I got up at 5am for a 9:30am interview.

I drove and hour and a half to get there.

I sat for two hours reviewing my notes and prepping and met with the whole team.

At one point during the meeting, the person I would report to said (and I quote) - "I even moved xxx's office next to mine because I don't want to have to walk across the building - if I have a question, I want to open the door and have him available at my disposal."

My entire drive home all I could think of was that there was no chance I could do this job.

You could not pay me enough anymore to literally become a slave to my success.

***

There were two reasons this was such a game changer for me.

One, (if I'm honest), it stroked my ego to know I was "good enough" to make it to the top 3 candidates for a job that was a power - "seat at the table" - public company - >10,000  employees - biiiiiig job.

The second, and far more important reason, was that, for the first time in my career, I had no interest in the money or the title.  I realized I was shifting and more interested in truly living my life to the fullest than running myself into the ground.

I decided to redesign what a 'job' looked like to me and try to figure out how to use my skills and interests to make a lifestyle I wouldn't want to retire from.

***

I don't believe our traditional operating model serves us anymore.

I don't believe life is meant to be "survived" and jobs are meant to be "hard".

I believe people should use their gifts and talents towards the rest of humanity and love their work - and in return - trust that they will be rewarded for it.

I also don't believe we need half the finances or materialism we claim we do.

(Except a Mini.   I still really want that car.  Metallic grey.   Soft top convertible.   I can see it now.... I am Charlize Theron zipping into a teeny, weeny parking space, rapidly changing gears.   Sorry.  I know, I know.   I must focus.)

Focus.

In business, we sit in boardrooms and write on white boards, brainstorming "new verticals" that can "fit" and "draw in additional revenue".   We work endlessly to ensure the future security of the company, the employees and the shareholders and safeguard against an economic hit.

Who says it is wrong to follow that same logic personally?

Do we safe guard against job loss, business closure or lay offs?

Do we sit down as a family at home and talk about our income streams or where we could potentially increase our household revenue?

Are there different sources to receive abundance in life in ways most of us don't think of because we are still following the model of operating that might not necessarily be as "safe" in 2018 as it was in 1975?

Think for a second about how the traditional model served the thousands of employees who worked for Sears.  That safe job that they worked at for 30 years really didn't turn out so well when they were left without work or pensions.

Many of us have been taught to "save for a rainy day" or to stockpile for retirement - but why should we be miserable for years and only enjoy life at the end?

What if we don't make it to retirement?

What if you have an emergency fund of 3 months put away and you are without work for a year?

I'm not saying everyone should up and leave their full time job.

I'm saying it is worth rethinking if we are only staying in a job we aren't happy in  "for the money" or "for the stability" and if it wastes the opportunity to use hidden talent.

***

I want to break the mold.

I want to reinvent the definition of work.

I might want to work 4 hours a day for the next 7 days straight.

I might chew up an entire Saturday and work 15 hours straight on a great post because I'm so consumed I've lost track of time.

I just want to trust that if I follow my heart and allow my path to unfold by doing what I love and inspiring others along the way - that my success will come in the form of pure contentment and that I will always have enough resources and finances for what I need in life.

It's a ballsy move and I might fall flat on my face.  

I might get a "real" job again in another six months and take back every comment I've made right now.

Or I might speak at a school on a Monday, do 3 Reflexology treatments on a Tuesday, write a post or part of a book on a Wednesday and consult for some amazing companies on Thursday and Friday -educating employees on how to stay healthy, happy and motivated or helping business owners find efficiencies in their operation.

Who says that I have to have one job, one career and one pay check?

I'm taking a gamble that maybe I don't.

***

If you were asked that same question - 

"If money was no object and all people on this planet were paid the same for what they contributed to society, what would you choose to do as your career?"

Would you choose what you are doing today?

Maybe you would.

Maybe you wouldn't.

All I'm saying here is that maybe, just maybe, there is a different way to live.

"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth" - JFK

Human Maintenance 2.0

My first job was at McDonald's.

I started the second I was old enough to work and began in the kitchen, wanting to learn every single possible aspect of the store including summer and midnight maintenance.   I wanted to be a Trainer, a Manager and in a perfect world - I wanted to be a Corporate Trainer for Head Office.

I loved McDonald's and my social media network today contains many of the people I first worked with back in those days.  I made life long friends and learned core competencies of management I have used in every part of my career since.

Back then I wasn't so concerned about "leading a healthy lifestyle" or coaching people on shifts to make in their life to feel "whole".

I had started smoking to fit in, drank a pot of coffee before noon and had no qualm whatsoever about having an Egg McMuffin combo for breakfast, a Quarter Pounder with Cheese combo for lunch (with no pickles - hated pickles) and a Hot Fudge Sundae on any part of an average shift.  (with extra fudge in the middle and on the bottom)

(I just made a lot of people very angry with that last paragraph.  I didn't know any better back then, okay?  Don't judge.)

McDonald's does many things very well - their training is superb, their standards are insanely consistent and they have a "PM Schedule" for EVERYTHING.

And that's what I want to talk about.

PM.

Planned Maintenance.

We had a daily schedule, a weekly schedule, a monthly schedule, a quarterly schedule and an annual schedule.

Every piece of machinery and equipment had a phone number attached to it, a serial number and a sheet laminated, that laid out the exact plan to prevent it from breaking down.

And I'm telling you - the most successful restaurants follow and perform that PM by the book.

***

I wonder how many of us treat ourselves and our employees with the same approach?

Let's call it Human Maintenance.

How are we continually maintaining our bodies and our brains to be more efficient, productive and successful?

Over and over again, I hear the same scenarios repeated.

Scenario 1
Employee makes big salary.   Employee "can't leave" job because they are tied to the money, sole breadwinner, have a mortgage, etc.   Employee complains they are exhausted and tired and overworked and is always counting down to their next vacation.   Employee dreads every Monday morning.  Employee has zero energy.  Employee is generally stressed and miserable.  Employee does not have 5 minutes to themselves.

Scenario 2
Employee loves what they do and is driven to continually move up the food chain.   Employee grinds long hours.   Employee outworks everyone else at the company to be the best.   Employee oozes the company brand and promotes workplace to everyone they know.   Employee burns out by their overcommitments.   Employee health deteriorates.   Employee goes on a) vacation to recharge or b) sick leave.  Employee recovers and repeats cycle again.

Scenario 3
Employee lives beyond their means - either through no fault of their own or over spending.   Employee needs to work multiple jobs in order to make ends meet.   Employee sacrifices any time for self care because all free time is consumed working at part time and full time jobs.

Scenario 4
Employee works a "normal" full time 40 hour per week job.   Employee has spouse and children.   Children activities have become the dictator of all free time.   Employee has no time for self care because they are the taxi service, sports manager, coach, spectator, cheerleader... the list goes on.

You get the idea.

We are no different than the McDonald's grill that will eventually stop functioning optimally if we don't stop and maintain the machine.

***

I have a little confession to make.

When I signed up for my Reflexology training, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

I had had a Reflexology session once, years ago, and I knew the very basic premise that there were points on the foot that was "supposed to" correspond to parts of the body.

(So they say- insert eye roll here).

What I have always believed, though, is the theory that if more money is allotted to paramedical services as preventative maintenance on a Group Benefit plan, it is highly probable that there is less spent on the disability and drug lines.

So I pretty much made a revenue-based hunch, without any real understanding of Reflexology, that I thought this was a vertical that could take off - supported by a wellness trend of increasing the paramedical lines and a heightened awareness and push for self care.

What I've observed and learned in the past 6 weeks is unbelievable and has completely changed my belief system on what I thought it was all about.  I'm not only drinking the kool-aid, I'm pouring it out of a 4L box.

I have seen blood pressure drop from 150-160/80 to a normal range of 120/80 with only 4 four weeks of treatments, I have seen a smoker start coughing prophetically when I apply pressure to the lung reflex, I have seen a young woman feel tenderness on all her reproductive reflexes that had multiple children at a very young age, and I have seen a client with crohn's and colitis react to pressure applied to the small intestine and colon reflexes.

I have received multiple texts or messages that state "I haven't felt this relaxed in months."   "I haven't slept that well in years" or "It is indisputable that there is a dramatic effect on the nervous system.  No other treatment has affected me in the same way.  This is completely different."

Technically, by the Ontario College rules, I can't tell you that any of this is specific to Reflexology, but man, would I love to do some experiments with clients over a period of time and test some of my theories out because it's awfully coincidental.

There is, without question, something about Reflexology that is very unique and has a fascinating impact at, what appears to be, a cellular level in the body - so this is totally my sales pitch to educate and encourage you to try it.

***

Our nervous system is a power house that runs most of the show to heal or manage any inflammation in the body, and it operates with two breakers.

The first is our "fight or flight" mode which is tripped and in use whenever there is a perceived threat of any form.   It could be stress, it could be diet, it could be alcohol or drugs, it could be an emergency situation or personal crisis.  This is where all of our reflexes are "on" alert.  

This works in conjunction with our parasympathetic nervous system which can be equalized to our "off" switch.  This is our relaxation response, our chill-out ability, our true zen.

These two systems need to dance perfectly in sync, operating as needed, to keep us mentally, physically and emotionally well.

It doesn't take much to trip the switch and live in "fight or flight" mode permanently.   There are a laundry list of health issues that can spin off from living this way, but what's important to note is that it's incredibly easy to for the circuit to malfunction and it's our responsibility to ourselves to stay in balance.

Many of us operate in warning stages.   Early signs of distress that we might be working too hard or our stress level is up just a wee bit higher than what is deemed a healthy range - and Reflexology is one option that can help bring the body back into balance.

Unfortunately, there are also many people with advanced stages of illness that require medication and treatments far beyond zone therapy.  I would love to have the opportunity, one day, to work with some of them  and experiment with the effects on different ailments from using this treatment as a complementary therapy.

The Ontario College of Reflexology has recently started publishing trials on clients with diabetes, anxiety, MS, arthritis and many others - and is working with the government to try and get the profession regulated.

Reflexology isn't medicine.

Reflexologists aren't doctors and don't diagnose or write prescriptions.

Reflexology isn't a foot rub and it isn't a massage.... and no, it does not come with happy endings.

So...... what exactly is it?

***

"Reflexology is a focused pressure technique directed at the feet or hands.  It is based on the premise that there are zones and reflexes on different parts of the body which correspond to and are relative to all parts, glands and organs of the entire body." 1

"Manipulating specific reflexes removes stress and activates the parasympathetic response allowing for a physiological change in the body.   With the stress removed and circulation enhanced, the body is assisted to return to a state of homeostatis (normal)." 1

"Reflexology claims 4 main benefits - relaxation, enhanced circulation, assistance to the body to normalize metabolism and a complement to all other healing modalities".  1

"Reflexology dates back to the late 14th century, where a form of reflexology called "Zone Therapy" was introduced in Europe.   Dr. William Fitzgerald found that when he applied pressure to specific points or areas of the body, an anesthetic effect could be induced.   Not only could pain be relieved, but also the conditions producing the pain." 1,2

These theories were further advanced and began to spread across the US.

Eunice Ingham (1979-1974) was instrumental in the evolution of modern foot reflexology and wrote and published numerous books in the 1930's including "Stories the Feet Can Tell" that are still used by Reflexologists today. 2

My Reflexology instructor just received her first prescription for Reflexology two weeks ago and recently announced that it was becoming an addition to the nursing curriculum.

This is no fluffy, foot massage - and the evolution is happening fast.

***

Imagine that all I'm saying is true ... imagine for just one moment that our bodies were created with such intelligence that our hands and feet are actual reflections or mirrors of our entire body - a perfect picture of a mini me that could be used as an opportunity to heal and align our nervous system into optimal performance.

What if we apply the same theory of preventative maintenance to ourselves as we do to the machines in our homes and workplaces -  will our immune system be stronger, our energy replenished,  our body detoxed and is it possible for our mental function to improve?

I'm hoping then that the question starts to shift from why would you try Reflexology - to why wouldn't you?

(Yes, I'm touching your feet.   Psychologically you need to get over that part.)

***

By the end of May, I hope to have my certification finalized.

This involves passing a 3 hour anatomy exam and completing 70 hours of practical experience on volunteer clients.

A pass is 80%.

(I guess you can't only know half the body parts and their functions to be overly effective.  Probably wise.)

Maybe then, I will partner with one or two people to be able to practice in different cities.
Maybe I will start approaching companies for an employee Wellness Day where I could be onsite - offer a Lunch N Learn seminar on Reflexology and it's benefits and offer mini sessions through out the day to demonstrate what it's all about.
Maybe I could be part of an annual Strategy meeting or Sales meeting as an educational component on the importance of self-care.
Maybe I incorporate personal coaching as an additional vertical.

I don't really know how it's all going to unfold at the moment and I'm okay with that.

What I do know is I am absolutely floored at what I've learned and seen so far and I want to use Reflexology as a gateway to help others --- and if just one person comes to see me after reading this post to try it out - and leaves, feeling remotely better than they arrived - then I consider the time spent writing and educating a win.

1 - Ontario College of Reflexology - N101 Text
2 - The Reflexology Healing Handbook - Denise Whichello Brown

What's For Dinner?

"Take a deep breath in.... and let it out.

Take another deep breath in..... and let it out.   

There is nothing else to do here, no more work to be done, nowhere to go.   

Take in all the benefits from the efforts of your practice today and practice the art of being completely still." 

It is the end of my yoga class and I have to use, literally, all my energy to suppress a giggle. 

Practicing the art of being still, having nowhere to go and no work to be done is the core of my current existence.   

In fact, let me give you a snapshot -

Wake up (somewhere between 7:00 and 8:30am)

Make Bulletproof Coffee (yes, it's a fad I have not given up) 

(ok, big lie.   Many days it's even brought to me and I am still in bed at 8am).

Read "Journey of the Heart" daily meditation.

Finish coffee. 

And then the conservation goes like this...

Me: "What should we do for dinner today?"

Mal: "It isn't even breakfast Sarah.   All you ever think about is your next meal."

He is not wrong.

That is my first most difficult decision I face daily.

What's for dinner?

The second most difficult decision I face is what time should I go to yoga - 5:30 or 7:00pm- because it all depends on what we are having for dinner.  

(Hence the obvious importance of this question.)

That's all I got.

Coffee.   

What's for dinner?   

Yoga.

Occasionally, this is blended in with bouts of severe panic about my mortgage payment, tears that I cannot possibly believe I'm still unemployed or a complete rant that I don't want to just "get a job to get a job", that I want THE job and I would rather be unemployed than work in an environment where I sell my soul to the devil.

But most of the time, it's coffee, dinner and yoga.

***

Yesterday, I saw this post on Facebook.

"Destroy the idea that you have to be constantly working or grinding in order to be successful.  Embrace the concept that rest, recovery and reflection are essential parts of the progress towards a successful life".

I smiled and clicked "like" on the picture but I thought about it all day.

I never took a vacation.   

I might have "on paper" been given two, three or four weeks vacation a year.   

I never took it.   

I was too "dedicated", "committed" or "busy" to take my vacation.   

Oh wait - no, about once a year I might take a vacation and go to an all inclusive in the South.   The entire vacation I was on my email, making sure "things were okay" and I was "caught up for when I got back".  

Perhaps this is some sort of joke that I've now been given all my vacation time to take, from every job I've had since I was 15, all in one long isolated period of time.

That is the funny thing about unemployment.  You get an awful lot of time to think about how you got here and a lot of space to create a vision of what you want your life to look like.

***

About twenty years ago, I got a book for Christmas called "The Healthy Type A".

What a comedy show that I considered this a compliment at the time, not realizing what a message it was.

In the first chapter, there was a cartoon that said "Gone for lunch.  Back in 3 minutes."

I thought it was hilarious.   

3 minutes.

I wonder how many times I picked up the phone in my career and said "I just need about 30 seconds to inhale my lunch and I will be right there."

Complete lunatic.

Two speeds.  

150 and zero.

150 is not a sustainable plan and zero is an inevitable finish.

I've finally realized how much more effective I am with balance in my life and that "so busy" doesn't win any prizes.

***

So, let's be clear.

I'm rested, I'm rejuvenated, I've reflected on every error and every success I've had in all 43 years of my life.  I'm very familiar with where I took a wrong turn and my internal compass is humming along quite nicely - so I'm all caught up in the reflection department.  

In fact, I've learned so much I might as well just be reincarnated and start over at this point.  

Hear me?

I GOT IT.

I'm so relaxed that sometimes it takes me 3 or 4 days to respond to a text message and if I have 3 of them, I just might not reply at all.   

There's no rush.   

There's always tomorrow.

I owe at least 5 or 6 people replies at this very moment, but that's ok. 

It's not you.   

It's me.   

I will reply at some point.

I promise.

***

There is another thing I was reminded of recently and that is the concept of "impermanence".

As I spoke to a lovely friend of mine last week, she reminded me of the most important statement.

"Nothing in life is permanent."

Absolutely nothing.

It is so easy to lose sight of such a simple concept.

I'm not remotely concerned about whether or not I'm going to work again.  Of course I will - technically I am working right now.  Doing what I love to do best.   Writing and telling a story that hopefully inspires just one person in the world - to see something differently or smile at my stories.   I'm just missing that small "someone is paying me" part but I am certain I will see another pay cheque.  

The only delay is that I really want to find the right fit and I know it's out there.

Unemployment isn't permanent.

My current situation isn't permanent.

Neither are we, for that matter, and sometimes we are painfully reminded of that.

The point is - everyday isn't going to be coffee, what's for dinner and yoga and I will work again.

Until then, I will continue to embrace this fabulous concept that rest, recovery and reflection are all necessary components of leading a happy life.

***

I think the universe got a little confused at my request when I "wanted more time with Mal" (wasn't envisioning us both unemployed at the same time) or "desperately needed a vacation" (didn't mean permanently), so I want to leave you with this letter I wrote (below) to hopefully get this straightened out.

Dear Universe, 

Apparently I wasn't so clear in my previous requests so let me revisit this so we can tweak our current arrangement.

Big fan of the time off.   

It's been a blast but my brain would like to once again contribute to society and my bank account is going to unfriend me.

If you could please bring me abundance through a wonderful new job, that makes the best use of my gifts, skills and talents, in a fabulous company where I enjoy all the people in it and look forward to going to work everyday - oh, and ensure that I stay happy and balanced in all aspects of my life - that would be terrific.  

(This MUST exist)

...And the only use of the phrase "What's for dinner" will be the text I send Mal at 3 in the afternoon and not the first sentence I speak every morning daily.

If there is any more confusion, we should have a talk.  Please call me to discuss further.

Many thanks and love to all the other people on this happy planet,

Sarah Lee