I want to make fancy smoothies that are so frothy you cannot possibly tell there is kale and carrots in them.
I have checked every flyer, googled "cheap Vitamix blenders" and checked if there is anywhere that rewards them from one of the zillion points cards I collect.
Nope.
Just like an iPhone, you cannot get one of these blenders unless you pay.
So every morning as I make my Bulletproof coffee, I look at the coffee station and envision my future Vitamix fitting perfectly next to the other appliances.
I want a convertible Mini cooper, 6 speed manual transmission, in metallic grey.
It has off-white leather interior, heated and A/C seats and a back up camera.
(If you have seen me reverse, you will understand why this is essential.)
You know that last parking space at the Mall around Christmas-time where some Einstein has crossed over the lines and it is now a 3/4 parking space?
Yep, me and my Mini - we're fitting into that.
It is ours.
We are owning that 3/4 spot.
I want to go to the Four Seasons in Tahiti.
I want to explore the rainforests in Costa Rica. (preferably without mosquitoes).
I want to drink a nice glass of Chianti on a patio in Italy.
I want to rent a house boat in Amsterdam and experience living on the water, watching all the cyclists at rush hour clog up every intersection.
So I'm not kidding anyone here.
I want lots of things in this lifetime of mine.
It isn't necessarily the material things I chase, but the quality of what those things represent.
The quality of the smooth liquid that comes from the blender my current one cannot produce. I'm looking for an improvement to the Oster blender that has clumps of protein powder in the bottom of the canister and shows bits of greens that didn't quite make it to a perfect blended state.
(I don't feel like this is an unreasonable request.)
My current car is fabulous.
I drive a 2007 VW EOS that has been paid off for years. (okay, well maybe two)
It has a 6 disc CD changer that some may call outdated but if you want to hear the Cranberries or any 90's grunge tunes, I have a CD binder in the trunk that might have what you're looking for. I need to use ear phones to make a phone call because bluetooth was not in existence when the car was built. And if the roof is down I have enough space for the CD binder, 6 bottles of wine (tested multiple times), groceries for dinner and if I'm lucky, a yoga mat.
But a Mini?
Mmmm.
Fast and the Furious.
Charlize Theron.
Zip zip.
2017.
Bluetooth.
XM.
Yes, we can dream.
Tahiti?
Oh, where to start.
The huts over the water.
The glass bottom floor.
The swim up bar.
The turquoise water.
The sound of the waves.
The view of the sunset.
The clarity of the marine life.
Bliss.
Peace.
Tranquility.
What is fascinating though, is that I just can't seem to part with the funds to get these things in my possession. I could technically have all of these items today but I just cannot, for whatever reason, seem to pull the trigger.
***
I heard the most brilliant analogy recently that has actually helped clarify this entire desire-want-have process for me.
"Your willingness for all of these items isn't strong enough to have them."
What?
My willingness for all of these items isn't strong enough to have them.
Well if that doesn't just make complete logical sense.
How on earth did I not come up with this on my own??
But when someone else states the obvious, it is equivalent to the cold shower you sometimes need to hear the message.
***
In 2014, the Ice Bucket Challenge went completely viral as the support for Lou Gehrig's disease spread throughout the globe.
In that split second that the water hits, there is a rude awakening that I would equate to when I heard this statement.
"Your want-willingness gap hasn't closed".
Duh.
Exactly.
***
My Want-Willingness Gap hasn't closed yet.
This theory can be applied in many different respects.
COST
If I knew I had another pay cheque coming next week, the tangible list I shared might not seem so far fetched. But somehow, it feels a wee bit irresponsible to fly to Tahiti without knowing where my next source of income is coming from.
Now I'm not gonna lie.
I'm buying the blender.
(I might even have it before I publish this post.)
But Tahiti - it hasn't quite manifested just yet.
But I'm going.
One day.
Hence, the willingness of cost.
TIME
To master a craft, you must be willing to put in the time.
I have said over and over again that I am going to spend the time on the game of golf, yet when it really comes down to it, I'm just not willing to put the time in because I always find something that trumps that choice.
It's pretty much that simple.
FEAR
What we want and what we are prepared to sacrifice to get there isn't always in line.
Sometimes we carry this vision around until the time when our willingness gap narrows enough that the jump doesn't seem quite as far.
We struggle to maintain jobs and relationships until their expiry dates become so clear we must act.
We tiptoe lightly into new territory afraid of what it might hold.
We worry about money, hoping we will always have enough of it.
Fear and doubt can be a huge blockage to change and closing the gap.
That quiet little voice starts to get louder.
What if ....
If doesn't work.
I'm not successful.
It isn't any better.
There isn't any more of it.
What if ...
It is exactly what I think.
What if ...
It does work.
I am successful.
It is better.
There is plenty more of it.
What if it's exactly what I'm afraid of?
What would I do if it all fell into place?
We don't really plan for that, do we?
The success?
***
There is an amount of personal power we take back when we ask ourselves where our willingness is relative to how badly we want anything.
I loved this concept the second I heard it.
And now when I think about Tahiti, I smile and think - I'm not willing to part with what it takes to get there, just yet, but I will continue to allow myself to daydream and feel what it would be like to get there - because one day, I'm going.
One day, the Want-Willingness Gap will close just enough that this doesn't seem so far fetched and I will get on that plane.
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