Nothing Half About It

In 5 days I am running my first half marathon. And let me tell you - this whole "half" thing is misleading. There is nothing "half" about it. It sounds like it is only half the work but I can assure you if you have never run it before, it is more than a "half marathon". It is a "holy crap, 13.1 miles, 21 km is a long freaking way half marathon". 

2 hours and 20 more minutes of running at a 10 minute mile pace. If I'm lucky, 40 or 41 songs. Notta half nothing. It's a whole lotta running. 

3 years ago I was one of those people who would not have read one word about anything to do with running. My story still surprises me and I'm not sure that even today I consider myself a "real" runner, although I suppose somewhere along the line I probably did become one.

In high school, I was part of a cross country team. And this term I would use extremely loosely. What this means is that I had the gear - hot pink tights and shoes - and showed up. And most times, barely. I had sports asthma as a child and I carried this inhaler like an excuse of why I could never be good. I didn't want to do the work - it was pretty much that simple. I thought anyone who was great was gifted and put no effort in. It just came naturally to them. I just wanted to wear the pink tights and say I was part of the team. And so I did. I went to the meets and I showed up. In awe of the good runners. And I carried that inhaler throughout the whole course and used it as a crutch for my performance whenever things got hard.

Because they do. 

Running is not a sport that can be done without effort. It is hard. Mentally and physically. And the setbacks are real.

Highschool was, um, a long time ago. And now we are fast forwarding 20 years later and at around 40 years old, I decided I should take this up. And totally by default. 

One afternoon I got suckered into a 'let's go for a run'. 

Again, the marvelous idea of how it sounded appealed to me. 

Well, aren't we going to be the ideal couple? It's so cute, right? Two people going for a run, perfectly in sync, the fit people. Pacing down the sidewalks, laughing with their earphones in, all dressed in running type stuff and smiling. Off for their healthy dinners and a good night's sleep.

HA. Couldn't be farther from the truth. 

Geared up as I always am, I lasted about 9 minutes. Panting, out of breath before the warm up was over, I had all the excuses lined up. "This isn't for me", "I'm not built to be a runner", "You're on your own" and "I'm out". .25 of a mile. OUT. Not interested. 

And if you've followed anything I've previously written -
I DON'T LIKE DOING ANYTHING I'M NOT GOOD AT. 

Period.

After that day, I randomly bought a book. It was called "Running Like A Girl". I read it on the train into the city every morning. It was about a girl who struggled with her weight who decided she was going to run. And from mile zero to a marathon. This was her story. And I was hooked. She was funny and it was inspiring and I decided I could do it.

I ran 1 mile.

And then I started to run multiple days.

I learned how to listen to my body, when I'd put too many miles on my legs, when I needed ice, when I could start again, when I could increase the distance, how the temperatures affected me.

And then I signed up for a 5k Reindeer Run when I lived in Chicago. I was terrified. I had never run 3.1 miles, I didn't know anyone in the city and I didn't even know where to park. My emotions were swirling fearing failure. 

It was -20 C on that Saturday morning and ridiculously cold - but I showed up. Carb loaded (which is very funny now since that run was 30 minutes and slightly over exaggerated to needing a carb load). 

But here I was. 

The atmosphere was amazing. Runners congregated in corners and in Starbucks staying warm talking about doing another "3" after the 5k. 

(WHAT??? You want to do more??) 

I felt so out of my element and my only goal was to finish. 

The race started. 

There were people in antlers and Santa costumes and I thought they were all seriously mad. Who sweats like this and dresses like a lunatic out there and how on earth are they comfortable? 

Do you people know this takes ALL my effort and I cannot fathom how any of you could dress up for a serious time like this??

I crossed the finish line in 34 minutes, about half way through my age group. BUT I FINISHED. I was over the moon. I can remember it like yesterday. 

To me, this was my marathon. 

I ran.
The whole way.
Without stopping.
With no inhaler and no walking and no excuses and a little bit of Bruno Mars, Keith Urban and Tesha (sad but true). 

Somehow that lit a spark. And I've run ever since. I've done some short races, raising money for different causes I'm proud to support. And so this year was time to raise the bar.

I wouldn't say my training has been most ideal. I wouldn't say it's textbook or follows any of the Running Room or Runner's World programs. It has been what I've felt I've been able to accomplish based on numerous circumstances.

Saturday I ran my last prep.
11.1 miles. 

U-N-H-E-A-R-D O-F 

My toes were cramping, my brain was in overdrive, I saw the same runners up and down the Burlington riverfront that I knew were doing the same thing and we all gave each other the "runner's nod". The "I know this is as painful for you as it is for me but we will all push each other through" nod.

- one more lap, 3 more songs, one more step in front of the other, two more minutes, almost there.

And this Sunday is 13.1 

I think it's important to not just write about that day. Because there will be adrenaline and energy that carries those last 2 miles beyond what I've trained for and a story in itself.

The hard work gets done before. The effort is over the past few years. There is nothing natural or gifted about this. This is the progress from running around the block and thinking I was going to die to building to 13.1. 

That 1 mile that was completely unattainable.
The huffing and puffing and red face after 9 minutes.

But here I am.
Against all odds.
Packing my bags this weekend and hitting the border.

For Toledo. 13.1. Glass City Half Marathon.

And there is nothing Half about it.