"If I was your hero, would you be mine?
I know this isn't a fairytale, this is real life.
But if I were to save you, would you do the same?
And catch me if I'm fallin... fallin.... fallin..."
- Hero, Farouzia
***
I am supposed to be doing schoolwork this morning, but I have this unstoppable feeling to share a story about some students I'm in class with. All week, I have thought about these remarkable individuals.
I am taking a class called "Trauma-Informed Practice in Adult Education". It is a special topic summer course, and it has already exceeded my expectations of being brilliant, and it's only week two.
The class focuses on defining trauma, understanding cognitively what happens to our brains and bodies during traumatic experiences, and how to apply practices in a teaching environment that promote learning, when someone is under a tremendous cognitive load.
Fascinating, right!?
The first thing I learned is that the definition of trauma is much more expansive than I would have thought. Trauma is basically our "emotional response" to any experience or event we deem as traumatic or highly toxic. It can lodge itself in the body and/ or actually cause the brain structure to change.
Therefore, two people may experience the same event, but one may perceive it traumatic, whilst the other may not. (COVID is a great example of a collective traumatic experience that impacted many people differently.)
CAMH (The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health) would define trauma as "the challenging emotional consequences that living through a distressing event can have for an individual."
The class began by explaining the cognitive science behind trauma, and the different components to our brain.
Let's say, in the simplest terms there is, that you have a rational side and an emotional side. There is evidence that can demonstrate the emotional side of the brain can actually become larger after experiencing a traumatic or heavily toxic experience, and the rational side can shrink.
I don't know if this is surprising to anyone else, but to me, it became the difference between "I have lost emotional stability" or "my brain has become out of balance and needs healing - this was a lot to process." Somehow, that scientific understanding helped me "depersonalize" any hypersensitivity and help me make some sort of sense of it.
I can only ever approach ideas with mental health as it relates to my own experiences, but I wonder how many cases feel "personal", like it's "me" that is the problem. (No reference to Taylor Swift.) I bet there is huge value in hearing, "it's not you", and helping people see from an anatomy perspective, instead of an emotional lens.
There is also science that shows our brains are not static, that they are forever responding to our environments and shifting, creating new pathways or shutting some down. Which leads me to believe it's possible then, that brain health, like any other ailment, has potential to be healed.
I love all the possibilities that surface with that idea.
***
So, one of the assignments this week was to create a 3–5-minute presentation on something that you deemed to be very passionate about or consider to be a gift of yours. We were then put into groups where we all shared with each other.
Each one of these amazing humans I was with had an unbelievable story to share. Survival of loss of children, (one lady had lost two children, many years apart), years of physical or sexual abuse, or addressing types of hazing in a particular medical field. But beyond the trauma that these students had experienced, was how they have managed to turn this around into service to others to help them heal. It completely blew my mind and left such a warmth in my heart.
One lady makes gifts for those who are grieving and even has her own website. One guy has 8 adopted children after losing his own and works in social work, supporting and helping people like himself. One girl shared that her gift was resilience after years of abuse. The capes this group wear are truly some of the best our universe has to offer, and I was so humbled and overwhelmed emotionally to spend that time with them.
***
I considered dropping this class a few weeks ago. I knew I couldn't make the first online meeting because I was at a conference in Chicago, and I confess that I didn't want to lose the 2% from attendance and be starting in the negative. (Honestly...)
I also knew that my own physical health has been screaming at me to slow down and unwind, and I wasn't sure if I should take the Summer off and start again in the Fall.
The course was of such high interest to me though, that I chose to go ahead purely for the benefits of the material and not for the grade. (Oh, and it hurts to do this, let me tell you.)
(And we all know I am secretly praying to "make up" the 2% and find a way to reach the grade regardless.)
(Okay, not-so-secretly).
Anyways....
I never expected the 'gifts' week one provided. I never expected to feel so much emotion in a tiny room full of strangers I met for the first 3 minutes. I never expected to feel so humbled or open. The whole experience was really incredible and such great reinforcement that I made the right choice to continue with the class.
It was also such a great reminder that we all have something to offer, regardless of what our story is or where we come from.
We all have capes.
Perhaps it is a closet artist, counsellor, baker, social coordinator, carpenter, coach, locally-inspired chef, healer, or loads of others.
Some of us might have them in the attic in a dusty box, waiting to be discovered and used - and some of us may already be using them, shining brightly.
Wherever they are, I believe when they are used for the greater good, they help light up the world - and that's what these unbelievably brilliant heroes I met this week, that experienced such horrific grief, loss and pain, are doing.
They are simply glowing.
♥
