"Haven't always been this way
I wasn't born a renegade
I felt alone, still feel afraid
I stumble through it anyway
I wasn't born a renegade
I felt alone, still feel afraid
I stumble through it anyway
I wish someone would have told me that this life is ours to choose
No one's handing you the keys or a book with all the rules
The little that I know I'll tell to you
When they dress you up in lies and you're left naked with the truth
No one's handing you the keys or a book with all the rules
The little that I know I'll tell to you
When they dress you up in lies and you're left naked with the truth
You throw your head back, and you spit in the wind
Let the walls crack, 'cause it lets the light in
Let 'em drag you through hell
They can't tell you to change who you are
That's all I know so far"
Let the walls crack, 'cause it lets the light in
Let 'em drag you through hell
They can't tell you to change who you are
That's all I know so far"
All I Know So Far
- Pink
***
I was asked two questions recently that I have really reflected on.
How long did it take you?
&
Where do I start?
The truth is I don't think I'm there yet, but today, very randomly, I smiled and thought - Damn, I am in a really good place.
Today was one of those great days.
One of those days when the sun is shining, my friends are amazing, I'm blessed with my family and my work, my energy is high and I'm somewhat in disbelief at all the dominos finally starting to tumble and knock the next one down so I'm getting a little giggly.
It's bizarre that we can't "see" change as it's occurring. It feels like day after day there is relentless discipline and effort with an infinity of unknown yielded results. You see that with weight loss, right? All of a sudden, someone goes from a size 16 to a 6. Where the heck were the 14, 12, 10 and 8's?? We see the success, but not the grit and countless hours of decisions along the way and sometimes not even the smaller numbers of the progress with the other dress sizes.
When we imagine how we want to lead our life and then start taking action towards it, we in a sense actually "see" it and therefore start to create it.
***
"Design Thinking" is my favourite new term on the planet that I like to think I made up, but quite likely did not.
Ok, I just looked it up and it's very real.
In fact, it's a "non-linear, iterative process that teams use to understand users, challenge assumptions, redefine problems and create innovative solutions to prototype and testing."
I think that's part Sci, part IT, part Engineering type speak.
You know what Design Thinking is to me?
Create a clear vision of the life you want to live, write all your excuses down on a piece of paper, burn it and make a conscious decision to put actions into place to make your dream come true.
Period.
Design Thinking by Sarah Lee.
Sorry ISO-peeps. Mine sounds way more fun.
What is so crazy though is when this whole Design Thinking process in life ACTUALLY STARTS TO HAPPEN.
That is when I get giddy.
(I'm sounding like an Evangelist, I know).
So the answer to how long it takes is "I don't know" . But there is a different question that I do know the answer to and that's "How long until you start to feel giddy?" - and that's 4 years and 7 months.
In those 4 years and 7 months, I've come a long way from the chain smoking, pot o' coffee drinking, overworked, sedated, sleep deprived cyber-zombie that I once was.
***
Sometimes as the words fall out of my mouth when I talk about my morning routine, I almost start laughing because I know it sounds completely insane and I honestly cannot believe I wake up at 5am and spend 3 hours BEFORE work to do THINGS.
But it's happening.
And I love it.
I also don't need a medal or acceptance from anyone for making these choices.
The only voice that matters is my own.
And my internal voice LIKES me.
She is actually pretty cool - I really should have become friends with her quite some time ago.
I listen to her everyday. In silence. For 15 minutes every single morning I listen to hear what she has to say. Where I might want to rethink things. Some brilliant progressive idea I just have to email to the Head of HR (ugh - I really wish she'd maybe keep a draft first sometimes).
(I'm not gonna lie. Occasionally, I need to polish her up a little.)
But she ain't all that bad and we have become one hell of a team.
During COVID, my lovely internal voice and I have cemented some habits.
Wake at 5. Journal. Meditate for 15 minutes. Walk for 60 or Run for 30. Gratitude list, best parts of yesterday and set intentions for today. Some days I run a practice called 60/10 where I set a timer for 60 minutes and focus on one task I need to get done, followed by a 10 minute break. Confidence bracelet up next (did I tell you about this already? If you do not have a confidence bracelet, you are missing out. I don't care what gender you are.). Anyways, I put my confidence bracelet of choice on for the day and go to work.
This process is called Habit Stacking.
When you have one habit and you add or stack another on top of it. Your brain is already on auto-pilot to the first habit, therefore it becomes easier to add the second habit in.
What started off as setting my alarm for 6:45 to write for 15 minutes, now has evolved to 5am and loads of other things that happen all before I turn my computer on in the morning.
Who knew habit stacking was a thing.
I'm a fan.
***
The really fun stuff for me is on a bigger scale.
I dream BIG.
I want to stand on stage to do a TED talk, write a best selling book that can change the future of mental health and give people hope of life beyond depression and anxiety, hold a role in Global Well-Being and have an impact with no limits, and run Personal Leadership retreats to help people embrace their life through a framework of education, motivation and exercises.
To get closer to these goals, I make sure whenever anything is presented to me that I ask myself two questions.
Does this align with the vision of where I want to go?
Does my intuition agree?
This is where the dominos are starting to tip over and where I got real giddy today as I truly started to feel the progress.
I made up my degree.
I mean, how cool is that?!
I. MADE. IT. UP.
That's what Integrated Studies allows you to do. Where was this killer, kick ass degree when I was hating my existence taking "everything-for-non- whatever it was" students and desperately wanting to take a course I was interested in.
(Okay, I probably didn't desperately want to take anything if I'm really honest.)
I made up my degree.
Transformational Leadership.
I get to pick all the courses that make sense, that I like and that will gear towards Global Well-Being and Transforming your Life.
THIS IS SO FUN!
Then last week I was asked to be on the Social Committee.
That, in itself, is a rather strategic move on our team's part, since I am pro-remote-work for as long as physically possible.
BUTTTTT.......
When I asked what "pillar" I would be responsible for, the clever leader we have replied "Wellness".
Duh.
YES.
I have an opportunity to run Wellness Initiatives for McDonald's Canada.
Read that line again.
I mean, come on........ are you shaking your head yet??
THIS IS SO FUN!
I bought a paddleboard.
It fits in my Mini. It packs up nice and neatly and I ordered a hot pink and orange striped life jacket from some surf shop or another in California and it all fits in my little tiny Mini and me and my lovely internal happy voice go to the beach and paddle.
I LOVE IT.
Oh, and I started a Coaching Group.
IT IS SO FUN.
It's teeny tiny right now, but we meet Saturday mornings and we talk about Self Development and Growth and I mean, who wouldn't want to start their Saturday morning off in August talking about getting better and building a life they love??????
We are all gettin' JUICED and guess what? I LOVE IT. It's so fun.
(Oh my God. Someone is going to comment I'm McLovin' It and please don't. Just don't do it.)
Things are really freaking cool.
I mean, every day isn't sunshine and roses.
I mean, it never really is, is it?
Pink says it well.
"I wish someone would've told me this darkness comes and goes"
Do you notice how some people you see go "dark" on social media for a while and then come back stronger than ever?
Life ebbs and flows.
Not all days are pretty.
Last week I put my brand new air pods in the wash.
My Free-on-Points air pods became my "$180" for the second pair, For-The-Love-Of-God-Do-Not-Put-Them-In-The-Laundry air pods.
Hey, you can't win 'em all.
But if I can look in the mirror and the girl staring back at me is awesome and fully aligned with her values, goals and principles, is fit, lean and strong, sleeps well, rises early and is making strides towards her dreams at 47 years old - then I get a little giddy with disbelief.
We can honestly do anything we put our minds to.
Absolutely-freaking-anything.
And that's all I know so far.
