Rattled

I have a friend who is exceptionally cautious. 

And I say that with love, for she is opposite to me in so many ways, and I admire and learn from her point of view.

I am generally pretty aware of my surroundings but I don't operate with fear or concern for the "bad" people in this world or what "could" happen.  

I go about my days in happiness and harmony, trying to avoid conflict and make peace where I can, hoping to seek out the best in everyone I meet.

A few months after I joined Facebook, I had titled a photo album with the house number and street address of our newly purchased home. I loaded all the photos online because I was so genuinely excited for our new adventure and wanted it to be documented on my timeline.

My lovely friend, so much wiser than I, was quick to send me a message and suggest I rename the album because "you never know what type of people there are in this world".

It had never even crossed my mind that I was giving access to, not only my street and house number, but a full inside view of every room and every exit in our home.

I changed the album name and quickly learned the ropes on privacy settings and how to lock down my account.

So trust me when I say that I give a fair amount of thought into accepting friend requests, due to how open I am with my posts.

Isn't it funny though, how time and experience possess an ability to alter thoughts that we were once so confident of, as we continue stumbling through life.

In November, I posted a blog called "#unfiltered" where I openly made fun of a silly video going around on Facebook of my girlfriends and I singing with spoons to Whitney Houston at 3am.  I said that I was going to continue to live my life in color, without apology, because I wanted everyone who are my "friends" to know who I am today, without the information being modified or deleted.

I have checked in on Facebook to where I've travelled to, posted funny and pretty pictures of things I've seen, and definitely tweeted some sarcastic, motivational or inspirational thoughts, depending on my mood.

In fact, I never really think twice about it. I just go about my day, every now and then seeing something I deem post worthy and keep putting one foot in front of the other, posting away, in ignorant bliss, as I go on my merry way.

This week marked one of my frequent trips to Chicago for work.  I got to the downtown office Monday afternoon and went into autopilot on my routine. I have a system and stopped at each desk for employee hellos as I made my way towards my office to fire up my laptop.   

As it's booting up, I start rifling through the mail that has piled up since my last visit.

Mattingly has shipped a couple pairs of cleats, there are some proxy forms for our 401k company, a couple of pay stubs and the last box has a Disney keychain with no return address.

Wait, what the -?
I pick the package back up and double check. 

No return address. 
No note. 
A tiny keychain inside a shoebox shipped from Amazon.

I pull up the tracking number online and see it was shipped two weeks ago, arriving on January 27th.

Thoughts start running through my mind.

Who on earth would do this?
And why??

Ok ...maybe Mal is sending me clues towards a birthday or Valentine gift.

Not. A. Chance.  
I know this man loves me more than air but he does not have a creative bone in his body and it is quite likely he doesn't even know tomorrow is Valentine's Day at all. 

As much as I would love to believe he has sent me on a cutesy adventure, it is fairly close to impossible.

So I do the brain scan of other possibilities and try to make some sense of the unsenseable. 

I look up the character, the story, try to see if there is some sort of a message - and I come up empty.

(Another example of police work not being my strength)

I stew about this for the afternoon and then decide maybe I'm just not meant to know the answer right now and I need to refocus and move on.

And as I decide that It's time to get my act together and return a couple of calls, a new package arrives to my office.

I open it and it has a second Disney toy in it.

No return address.
No note.
Shipped two weeks after the first one.

Ok - now you got me. 
Now I'm a wee bit rattled.

I bring my thoughts back to Mal.

Could it be?

I did say I wanted to run the half marathon at Disney because I have no kids and it's the only way I'd get to see it.

Maybe.....

No.

There is no chance at all he would do this. 

Okay, what are the similarities here?
What are the stories?

Is there anything in these stories that is hate related that someone is trying to get at?
Do I know anyone who would stoop to something like this to throw me off guard?

Disney though...?
Um no - probably some voodoo doll, but not Disney.

Anyone acting strange to me or overly friendly or weird?

No.
No.
No.

Thank you Amazon for successfully messing with me two days in a row.
Now I'm left with a dilemma.

If I tell Mal and it's not him, he will worry.
If I don't tell Mal and it is him, he will worry that there are other things I'm not truthful about.

This is definitely not a win-win situation.

So I ask him really nicely - "um, ship any random packages to me in Chicago, by chance?"
Then again, later in the day "are you sure you haven't shipped anything to me here?"
Then, one more time for good measure "you aren't sending me Disney toys from Amazon, are you?"

I even went as far as to say "did you upgrade our Amazon account to Prime?" to see if I could be sneaky and get him to slip up.

None of the above.

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I felt a bit unsteady and questioned my safety.

Walking to my hotel after work, I wondered if anyone knew where I was staying.

Have I posted any photos that could lead someone to figure out where I was?

And I thought of my friend who is so much wiser and more conservative than me and shook my head at all the information I so freely give away on Facebook with my whereabouts and interests.

This afternoon, I talked to a colleague of mine who almost has me convinced that it's a random marketing ploy from Amazon and my name just happens to be listed as the main contact for TGI.

Maybe (and hopefully) that's true.

Maybe it is someone close to me with a clever mystery gift idea that has not been answered yet.

Maybe it is Mal and he has bought me tickets for my birthday to Run Disney in the Fall and I have horribly underestimated him.

Maybe it was an error in kitting and fulfillment from the Amazon warehouse.

And maybe.. I should just stop worrying about it or trying to make sense of it and put my thoughts back into what I can control.

But one thing is for sure.

It has made me rethink about how "unfiltered" I live and how easily I could be tracked by the things I've chosen to share.

And whether it's an error from Amazon or I'm an intended target, it's a really good lesson in awareness and a good reminder that there are risks in who we friend and how easily we could be found by what we post.

"I'm traveling to Florida" can translate to "I'm not home - you could break into my house"

"I work for TGI in Chicago" says "I've given you an address I can receive packages at".

"I'm checked into Fionn McCool's pub" could mean "not only am I telling someone where to find me, there is a chance I've had a drink or two and my judgement is also off".

***

I'm not going to tell you I won't check in anywhere else or post anything with a location because I am sure I will.

But I will tell you this.
It got my attention this week and sobered up my giddy posting.

And it has prompted an awful lot of reflection and thought into the risk level of what I chose to post, or not to post, moving forward .....

- especially since I've been writing and sharing my life as an open book.